If you want to rattle me pretty quickly, it's to give me unwarranted advice about how I should live my life. Unless I specifically ask for advice in a situation and have mentally prepared for the possible negative feelings to come, it feels like you're chastising me for not living up to your standards. There are some things I get told, even by loved ones, that I will graciously "put under consideration" but I will, without fail, ignore my interpretation of this advice. You can take it or leave it, the point of this is to challenge you to be a little more critical of the advice you might get.
1) "You catch more flies with honey than with vinegar."
Look, I'm a fairly nice person. I don't want you getting the wrong idea that I'm a salty woman who has nothing better to do than to write bitter, probably judgmental articles on a Sunday night. I have a fair amount of patience but if you use it up, I do have a bit of a temper. However, I will
smile and be pleased to meet you. I thank my waiter and unless I am incredibly dissatisfied with my service (like if they've completely forgotten about my table even though there's two people in the restaurant) I tip pretty well. I know that the people in Target
have to ask me if I need help finding anything. But some people are just plain rude or stupid. And you know what? I don't have time to discern whether or not that guy who just decided to catcall me while I was out running could have been a potential boss or something. I assume he wasn't and I will be as vinegar-y as I flippin' (the bird) WANT.
2) "Keep your friends close but your enemies closer."
I'd like to think that I don't really have any "enemies." There's people I don't necessarily like all that much because our personalities conflict or something. These are the people that I kind of just remove from my life. I distance myself from them and hope to not really run into them or anything but it wouldn't be a full on Bad Blood clash if I saw them. Besides, shouldn't I
care more about my friends than these so-called enemies?
3) "Shop around before you settle down."
Let's break this one down. A lot of people are touchy about significant others and "what your 20s are all about." I, personally, don't see a lot of potential in the
dating world now and frankly, it looks exhausting. First and foremost, I feel like you're implying that you cannot accept that even though I'm young, I can make a decent choice. Second, you would rather have me in a relationship where I don't see the possibility of complete commitment than in a healthy, loving relationship that I got lucky
enough to find earlier in my life? I'm not exactly in a rush here but what's the point of being with somebody I don't want to spend my life with? I think these people just want me to have "
no ragrets."
4) "Don't talk about religion, politics, or the Great Pumpkin."
How am I supposed to figure out if I get along decently with a person unless I know their stance on the Great Pumpkin?! But in all seriousness, while this can be a delicate subject and I don't want to get into grandiose political or religious debates with people, how am I supposed to become more informed on a subject if I stick to my own views? I have some of the best conversations with people I don't agree with because we can speak civilly on a wide array of topics. It's enlightening and fulfilling to have a
conversation where you truly listen to somebody and instead of trying to tear them down, at least attempt to understand and then are able to communicate your own view.
5) "If s/he can't handle you at your worst, s/he doesn't deserve you at your best."
HOLD. THE. PHONE. This could have its own article dedicated to how wrong this is and I'm sure one exists out there. If you mean appearance-wise, sure. I'm no beauty queen in the morning. Or, actually, a lot of the time. I don't like taking time for makeup and all that. But if you mean in the personality area, this is so wrong. Relationships of any kind are a two-way street. You both should be making an effort to not be your worst around them. This saying just seems to enable you to be a bit of a bitch.
6) Pre-sort your laundry.
I DON'T HAVE ENOUGH TIME OR ENOUGH QUARTERS FOR MORE THAN ONE LOAD OF LAUNDRY.
I DON'T HAVE ENOUGH TIME OR ENOUGH QUARTERS FOR MORE THAN ONE LOAD OF LAUNDRY.
