I love first dates. They're thrilling, non-committal, and best of all: They're usually free. But, the downside to attending Texas Woman's University as a heterosexual woman is that men are few and far between. So what's a girl to do when she lives in a testosterone desert? Tinder. Tinder is a free app that shows you a few photos and a short profile before you decide to "like" them - by swiping right, or "nope" them - by swiping left. If both people have right swiped, it's a match and the conversation can begin. Having used Tinder off and on for the past two years I've come to find fairly predictable patterns when it comes to swiping left on men. Here are the six guys I find on Tinder.
1. Guy showing off his latest catch.
This guy is all about hunting, ATVs and a fishing pole. If you're not wearing camo or cowboy boots in one of your profile pictures, prepare yourself to not be matched.
Most likely to take you to the family's deer blind and hunting cabin. Better practice your sharpshooting skills, if you can't shoot him a deer, you're certainly not going to catch this country boy's heart.
2. The ladies man.
This is the bane of my existence on dating profiles. This guy only posts photos with at least two ridiculous, hot girls and always has a Bud Light in his hand. Just say no. He's a probably womanizer with low self-esteem.
Most likely to call you his "tinderella" and take you two stepping. Just don't expect him to buy you any drinks - or dance with you for that matter. His dance card is already full.
3. Man and his best friend
This guy is using his dog just to get you to match with him. And let's be honest - it works. It doesn't even have to be his dog, it could be a stray he exploited for his profile. But who cares? It's still adorable and gets him the ladies. Most likely to ask you to an animal shelter and coffee. This guy knows his game and is good at it. The way to a mans heart may be his stomach but the way to a woman's heart is through cuddles with warm fuzzy animals. But be warned - if you ever meet his dog, and it doesn't like you, it's over.
4. Guy with only group pictures.
Without fail, if a guy only has group photos on his tinder, he is the least attractive one in the pictures. Sad but true. This guy may have lots of friends to hang out with, but it's never his idea to go anywhere. Probably belongs to a Jewish fraternity.
Most likely to take you to Chili's. He orders a water and will ask you to split the two for $20. Get ready for lots of awkward silences and stories about all the fun things that his friends do.
5. The Wanderer.
This guy is only in town for one week. His profile is filled with pictures of him skydiving, at Machu Pichu, Big Ben, and snorkeling.
Most likely to take you to a sushi restaurant and order the potentially deadly puffer fish roll - to split. What's dinner without some risk of death? Better make sure all your shots are current, next date is to an organic chicken farm.
6. The gym rat.
This guy lives at the gym and his profile actually says that. He posts a new photo every day of his "gains," which is probably a mirror selfie of him flexing with his 300 pound dead lift in the background.
Most likely to invite you to a house party where he only serves protein shakes because beer "messes with his macros." Will likely tries to convince you to buy into his gym's fitness and Advocare program. Never eat fast food around him unless you want a lecture about the evils of salt and deliciousness.
