With the upcoming presidential election, it's hard to know what all the candidates are going to do in the next few months. It seems like everyone is becoming more radical and is reaching for straws at the next best way to one-up their opponents. It's almost like Disneyland except the rides are replaced with racist hate speeches and the sweaty Floridians are sweaty southerners.

So, to continue with the trend of outlandish and radical political moves, I've decided to list my six equally outrageous predictions for the 2016 presidential election.

1. Charles Koch's death forces David into a soul searching journey to find the true meaning of life.

While many know the Koch brothers for their life-long commitment to wrecking havoc in the Middle-East in the pursuit of oil making great strives towards global unity destruction of the election process along with the natural world. However, disaster will strike the dynamic duo when Charlie Koch falls ill and eventually passes away in late August. After this incident, David will reflect on his life choices and begin to realize that his methods of influencing elections and tearing apart the crust of our earth for profit utilizing natural resources to their fullest potential, isn't what he wanted to do with his life. Instead, he will focus on creating a children's home. His story will one day be turned into a box-office hit known as "Digging For Meaning".

2. Bernie Sanders rallies will now be known as 'Berning Man'

It's no secret that Bernie Sanders is the most chill candidate in race and that will show when, during a rally in southern California, several Trump supporters will try to break up the event by dispersing drugs into the air. Jokes on them, that's exactly the level of chill Bernie has been looking for.

3. Dr. Ben Carson will be investigated for his abuse of Xanax that he has prescribed himself.

In a legal scandal that will shake the foundations of the medical industry, Dr. Ben Carson will be called into question for his over-reliance on Xanax that he has been prescribing for himself. This will lead to a court case that will possibly be made into a six-part HBO documentary.

4. Ted Cruz will withdraw his candidacy and reprise his role as The Zodiac Killer only to be thwarted by Joe Biden in a Batman costume from Target.

In a surprising reveal to the four people that already don't know, Ted Cruz will drop-out of the race and once again become The Zodiac Killer. His reign of terror will last only until the next President has been sworn in, giving former Vice-President Biden the time and freedom to the hero our country needs in its greatest time of darkness.

The final showdown between the two will be after Cruz returns to his home state of Texas and locks down most of downtown Austin, sending the city and state into panic. The resulting mayhem will only cease when a masked man in a cheap plastic costume defeats The Zodiac Killer atop the McCombs School of Business on the U.T. Austin campus.

5. Donald Trump read the United States Constitution for the first time.

Perhaps the biggest surprise of all, however, is that Republican front-runner Donald Trump decides to read the United States Constitution and see what it actually says. After reading over the document for less than five minutes, he disregards most of the document and states "I know what they really meant to say. I'm the best at interpreting words. I read Finnegan's Wake. I read it the best. I know how to read better than most people."

6. Hillary Clinton will legally change her name to 'Chillary' to appeal to young voters.

It's not secret that the Democratic race is becoming one of the most heated topics in the 2016 election. However, Hillary Clinton is not going to let Bernie Sanders get the chill youth vote without a fight. In an effort to make herself appear more "in with the teens" she will show her truly chill side and let the young voters know she's going to throw the biggest rager in the White House once she's in office with her announcement that she will legally change her name to Chillary Clinton.

However, like most of her other political stunts aimed at youth, it will fail and end up in a Buzzfeed article entitled "6 Hilarious Political Flops From Hillary Clinton". Seriously, you won't believe what number six is.