Here are some of the things that cross my mind the morning before the first day of class. I truly hope your first morning goes more smoothly than mine have in the past. Take this list of stress and exhaustion as a warning, a chance at a better life.
1. Why am I awake?!
2. Did I miss my alarm?
3. Did I set an alarm?
4. Damn, I way overshot my alarm. Just lost 20 minutes of sleep.
5. I showered last night, but my hair looks weird?
6. I don't have time to shower and fix it, so I guess it'll just look weird.
7. I could wear it up?
8. There's no hair ties/they're all stretched out/I've only got that one weird scrunchie.
9. Totally had an outfit planned out last night, and now I remembered the top is dirty.
10. Where are all my shirts? I thought I had so many shirts?
11. And no socks...
12. Oh, I really should not have gotten back in bed. Such a bad call.
13. God, why do I even have to go to class?
14. No, it's too early to get existential about my college choices. Not before coffee.
15. Is there time to make coffee? Can I buy it on my way to class?
16. Don't buy coffee on the first day, it'll set a bad precedent.
17. If don't get back out of bed now, I am absolutely going to all back asleep and miss class. Come on, come on.
18. I'm too young to wake up this stiff.
19. OK, there's definitely something clean that goes with these pants.
20. Close enough.
21. Do I need a calculator?
22. I probably don't need a calculator. Why would I need a calculator? It's syllabus week.
23. Where even is my calculator.
24. It's fine, I'm not going to need it. Whatever.
25. Should I try to do make up?
26. If I try too hard today, everyone's gonna expect me to look this acceptable all semester. I can't commit to that.
27. Gotta put on a little mascara though.
28. Alright. Lookin' cute.
29. Wow, I really smudged that all over the place.
30. Where are the tissues?
31. Should I grab something for breakfast.
32. Oh, I definitely don't have time to grab something for breakfast.
33. I need a new toothbrush.
34. Eh, I'll floss tonight.
35. Damn, I almost look like a person. Nice work.
36. Where's my backpack?
37. It's so huge and my room is so small, how the heck?
38. Oh, by the door. So I wouldn't forget it.
39. Phone. Keys. ID.
40. And we're out!!
41. Oh no, deodorant!
42. And we're back in....
43. I literally just bought deodorant, oh my lord where is it?
44. Phew. Imagine making that first impression.
45. OK, now we're really out.
46. Right after I grab my headphones.
47. I have to get coffee. Just this once and then I'll make it at home.
48. It's so hot out. It's completely still summer, please just let me stay inside I'm not ready no...
49. Honestly, why can't they just email the syllabus week speech and all those papers and just let us stay in bed.
50. No. Classes. You go. To them.
51. This is only the first day, how am I already such a wreck?
52. It's fine. I'll shape up tomorrow. Yeah. This is gonna be a good semester.
Good luck to all of us as we get ready to start the Fall 2016 semester. I'm definitely going to need it.
