You aren't meant to be flawless, you aren't meant to be perfect. You also aren't meant to hate or to despise yourself, because what is the point of continuing to live a life that is just being spent meandering somewhere in between dreading your present, regretting your past, and cowering in the face of your future?
You are allowed to be sad and you are allowed to cry in the shower, you are allowed to recognize how small you feel in this world, but you are not allowed to focus solely on your discrepancies. You are allowed to shut people out as long as you let others in. You are allowed to understand that you need help, that you are not okay, as long as you do something to combat that sickness. If you continue to wallow in your pain you are going to trip, fall and lose yourself in the rabbit-hole of your doubts. Do not allow anyone to push you into anything except happiness and growth--don't fall for other's emptiness based on your own, surround yourself only with those who make you feel warm, who provide you with the security and beauty that you are searching to find within yourself and your own life.
Put thoughts into words so that you don't ever forget how you feel. Feelings--regardless of burning rage or engulfing sadness, searing joy or endless tears--feelings are the basis of your existence. If you don't feel your insides light up at the sight of the sun rising over your beloved valley or at the glimpse of someone you would devote your entire life to, then what is the point? Walking around shutting yourself out from all feelings may protect you from getting hurt, yes, but it will also keep you from experiencing all the magnificent glories your life has to offer.
I know that you may feel small in this world, you may seem so insignificantly small compared to populations, to cities, to mountains. I know this can be a frightening feeling, to feel so minimized to almost nothing, but you cannot let yourself feel small enough to not matter. You are a part of this world, a part of the cosmos, a part of the ever-shining stars that glitter the sky, lighting the way for someone who has lost their own. You are strong as the redwoods, standing tall for hundreds of years before you. You are wise as the rivers that rip across the nation, digging through the soul of the valley. You are beautiful, significant, and while you may feel small, you have been given the gift to explore and live the beauty of life.
So, I know that it may hurt some days, that it may be difficult to make yourself get up, that sometimes you struggle just to fave the world once again. But on those days, understand that you are just as the sky above you, strong and determined and constant, while the feelings of stress and pain are merely grey storm clouds passing along. They will come and go, but in the end of the day your sun rises, and you have the opportunity once more to go find the beauty in life.
