We all have that one person in our lives. Sometimes (heaven help us) we have more than one. That person who seems to want to play an integral role in our life or at least be around to witness it and yet seems dissatisfied with every minute they spend in our presence. The ones who make us stutter over ourselves when we talk about our accomplishments and passions because we can already see them sharpening their pins that they use to prick holes in our happy little golden daydreams. Whatever we do, it will never be enough for this person, because there will always be something that we have not done, an oversight which, according to this person, is inexcusable. We could work around the clock and exhaust ourselves completely but this individual – whatever role they play in our lives – will never, ever be convinced that we have done enough. Certainly not enough to live up to their standards anyway.

For as long as I can remember, I have been someone who feels an innate desire to please. In almost every situation I come across I am looking for ways to make everyone in aforementioned situation as happy and pleased as possible when it comes to my actions. Of course, I’ve held down authority figure positions where being the good guy wasn’t always an option, but I try to limit situations where I have to be the one to bring the bad news even then, because in my opinion, happy people respond better to instruction then depressed, angry, or over-criticized ones do.

In spite of all this though, there have been some people I’ve run into over the years who seem to break me when it comes to “aiming to please.” No matter what I do, no matter how many hurdles I jump or stresses I endure, they see me as nothing more than a less-than struggling to become something else… and failing. I know this, and I also know that there’s really nothing I can do to change these people’s minds, and yet I still keep trying. I still stress myself out wondering why I can’t seem to do enough to get them on my side. I wonder if they are the only ones who are right about me, and if everyone else is wrong. The closer the person is to me, the harder time I have distancing myself from this thought.

But slowly I’ve come to realize something. It is in no way my job to convince everyone that I am someone worthy of respect, and people who respect you do not spend their time cutting you down and criticizing all your actions for no reason. I am worthy of respect because I am a human who is trying her best to do right in a world full of hard decisions and complicated scenarios. I am not perfect, I will never be perfect, but I am tired of living my life to please people who will never be happy with me or themselves.

I cannot live my life to please everyone, because there will always be someone who is rooting against me, but that does not reduce my worth. I am moving forward, I am growing and maturing as a person, and someday, just maybe, I can learn how to be happy with myself… without worrying about what other people think of me.