I’m sure that, at some point, we have heard the phrase “nice guys finish last.” This phrase comes from the belief that women don’t appreciate “nice guys” and only want to date douche bags. These “nice guys” are left in what they like to call “the friend zone.” Even though they are so nice to girls, none of them ever wants to date them, thus, banishing them to the friend zone. How could this be? After all: you were so nice.

Let me just say this: the friend zone doesn’t exist. Just because you are nice to someone, it doesn’t mean that they are obligated to date you. You don’t get a special prize for being a decent human being. If you think doing things for someone gets you a free pass to date them, think again. And just because you are attracted to someone, it doesn’t mean that they are attracted to you in return. Every girl that you are attracted to is not going to be compatible with you.

It can be really disheartening to find out that someone you thought was your friend only wanted to spend time with you to get into your pants. Imagine someone who was always there for you; they are there to help you, when you need them, they listen to your problems and always want to spend time with you. When they express their feelings for you, and you explain to them that you don’t feel the same way, they suddenly don’t want anything to do with you. You thought that this person was your friend, but they were never really your friend.

If you liked this person so much that you wanted to date them, why would you be opposed to being their friend? But just because they don’t want to sleep with you, you decide they aren’t worth your time anymore. This girl probably gave you every social cue that she was only interested in friendship, but you were too distracted by your own desires to notice.

Because one girl doesn’t want you (a “nice guy”), they must only like douchebags, right? Wrong! Just because a girl doesn’t want to date you, it doesn’t make every other guy a jerk. It doesn’t make the girls who reject your advances “sluts” and “whores,” either.

Girls like nice guys, but being nice isn’t the only thing that a relationship is based on. Girls like guys who have things in common with them, who have the same views and values as them. Maybe you should take a minute to evaluate why you want to date this girl so badly. If you cant think of any reason other that her looks, you should probably just give up now.

Ranting about how girls never want to date you, even though you’re a “nice guy,” makes me think that you’re not really a nice guy. Constantly complaining about being “stuck in the friend zone,” isn’t going to get you a date any time soon. Maybe you should try actually being nice instead.