Life is made up of mistakes, and they tend to be lessons learned, but sometimes our mistakes make us wish we didn’t have to learn these lessons. The mistakes we make cause a feeling of something that travels deep down inside us and settles into every crevice of our bodies. It makes us wish we could take it back and start over, or just push it out of our minds at least for a little bit, but that feeling makes it hard to forget. It makes our stomachs turn and our brain restless and we wish with everything in us that we hadn’t done it. This uneasy, anxiety ridden feeling is regret. It's that feeling that keeps you up at night just to replay a scene over and over again in your head just to keep you up at night. However, you must remember that you cannot escape the past, you can only dwell on it while it haunts you and disrupts your present. Hoping that maybe if you can get your mind to stop spinning, you can go to sleep and wake up without that feeling deep in your chest, or that cloud hanging over your head. Then, you finally wake up only for a brief moment and you forget and can finally breathe easy again until reality settles back in and you are once again overcome with these troubling thoughts.
Sometimes the thought of what happened will make you cry, or maybe it will just make you numb to the world around you, but whatever it is, you will sure as hell feel it. You try and promise yourself that you will never do anything like this again because you don’t want to feel like this anymore. You never want to try and find comfort for this feeling, or try to explain to someone why you wish you hadn’t done what you did. Regret will never leave you, it may lessen but you will never forget what has happened. You will always look back and wish you had made a different choice. Remember though, you can’t change the past and this choice has cost you something -- a piece of you has now been lost to the merciless demon that is regret. Even though it is useless, you still allow yourself to think of what you should have done, imagining that this is the way it actually happened to try and calm yourself down. People say never live your life with regrets, but sometimes it is inevitable. Maybe eventually you can go a day without the memory of what happened, but soon something will remind you of it and the wave of familiar regret will soon come crashing down on you, flooding your thoughts once again. Regret is like an endless maze, you might think you found a way out, but you can never truly escape that feeling. Try all you want, but it will stay with you forever.
