“She looks too thin, she looks like she gained weight, she looks tired, she looks....”

If you’re reading this article I bet you have said one or more of those statements about someone (I know I have) whether you meant it to be hurtful or not. But why? Why do we have to place such a focus on body image? The answer is that we don’t. We don’t have to put a girl’s worth on how hot she is. We don’t have to analyze every aspect of a girl’s body. And we don’t have to look for flaws where there aren’t any.

After reading about the horribly handled Stanford rape case (don’t even get me started) I decided to write about something more serious because as a woman in American society it can be tough if you don’t look like Gigi Hadid. We are constantly feeling bad about ourselves for not meeting expectations that were set by men.

The problem with American society is how we view women and the fact that we put so much emphasis on appearance. We should be skinny, but not stick thin. We should be curvy, but only in certain areas. We should be funny, but not vulgar. And we should be desirable, but not obtainable.

These contradicting standards that are placed on the shoulders of women as early as age 10 need to be taken off. I know changing societal norms is a little more challenging than me writing an Odyssey article on it, but we need to get the conversation started somewhere. This conversation needs to start with you and it needs to be about how you view yourself.

Don’t beat yourself up about having a zit or looking weird in a romper or getting an awful haircut because those things can and will change over time. Don’t stress about the little insecurities in life because everyone else is too worried about themselves to even notice, I promise.

And I’m not saying that you shouldn’t want to change, I’m just saying that you should want to change for YOU. Not for your family, your boyfriend (who if he is telling you to change physically, he’s gotta go) or anyone else. You want to lose a little weight? Great. You want to tighten your triceps? Even better. But don’t drag yourself down in your own negative thoughts because the girls in the magazines don’t even look like the girls in the magazines.

Stop tearing other girls down (proof is in the group chat screen shots). Stop calling girls sluts because as crazy as it sounds girls can have sex with whoever they want just like boys. Stop beating yourself up over nothing because stressing over it isn’t going to change anything. Stop believing you don’t matter because you make an impact on someone every day even if you don’t know it.

Be true to who you are, lift people up, be kind and be happy.