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50 Things You Hear When You Work Retail

Working retail isn't for the faint of heart.

332
50 Things You Hear When You Work Retail
shortzilla.com

Sometimes it takes more effort than other times to be able to smile and say "have a nice day" after you've just be cussed out and had the product thrown at you. It seems like regular incidents that ruin that day are rude customers, broken credit card machines and incorrect prices. Once in a while you get that customer who understands that you just work here and can't control everything that goes on. Perhaps, they work retail too. Perhaps, they get these same repetitive questions and comments each and every day:

1. "Do you work here?"

No, I just wear this uniform because it looks good.

2. "What time do you get off?"

I think people mean well by this, but I'm always on edge that they're the creepy type and they're going to be waiting for me at the gate when I get off.

3. "What time do you close?"

There's a sign on the window with the hours of operation.

4. "When are you going out of business?"

Basically they're asking "hey, when are you going to lose your job?".

5. "Are you sure you're out of this?"

Yes, I'm sure. I wouldn't have told you if I wasn't.

6. "Can you check in the back?"

Yes, of course, I'll go back and stand there for a few more seconds and then come back out and tell you the same thing I already told you.

7. "When do you open tomorrow?"

Please read the hours of operation sign on the window again.

8. "Are you new here?"

Why is this such a frequently asked question?

9. "You're not here when I usually come in?"

Sorry, I do other things with my time than work.

10. "What's your name?"

I'm not wearing a name tag for a reason.

11. "Is your manager here?"

No.

12. "Can I speak to your manager?"

Sure, but they're going to tell you the same thing I just told you.

13. "You had this product last year."

You're probably right, but this is a new year.

14. "I always get this when I come in."

We haven't had the product in 2 years

15. *Gets entire life story about why the customer is buying this item*

"Have a great day."

16. "Have you ever tried this?"

Probably not, but I'm going to say that I did and that it's awesome.

17. "This is overpriced."

I just work here, I don't make the prices.

18. "I'm returning this because *tells entire life story again*"

"Would you like cash back or on your credit card?"

19. "You need to smile."

This is my third job of the day, the register is broken, my dog ran away, I spilled coffee all over my shirt and I have a headache. *Smiles* "Have a great day."

20. "What do you think my aunt's friends' sister-in-law's mother would like best?"

They're actually my best friend and I know everything they enjoy, you should choose this.

21. "Do you think I need this?"

Yes.

22. "When will you get this product back?"

When it comes on the shipment.

23. "Do you have a bathroom in here?"

"It's for employees only."

24. "Can I use it anyway?"

No.

25. "Do I check out here?" *Asks while standing at only register in store*

Yes.

26. "Do you have any free samples?"

*Hands one to them, they take it, and leave the store*

27. "Can I also have a sample for every member of my family?"

Yes, of course.

28. "Which one looks better?"

All of a sudden, you turn into their personal stylist.

29. "You're a lifesaver."

I know.

30. "Can my daughter use your employee-only bathroom?" *4 year old child is jumping up and down with her legs crossed*

No.

31. "Do you have any coupons I could use?"

No.

32. "Can I have the employee discount?"

No.

33. "How long have you been here?"

Too long, how can I help you?

34. "I'm looking for *gives description of product that is not even close to what the product actually is and gets angry when we can't guess correctly*"

"I'm sorry, I don't think we have that in stock."

35. "How do I select debit?"

"We don't have a debit option, it just goes through as credit."

36. "Can I get your number?"

No.

37. "You look just like this person I know."

I'm not them.

38. "Can you call another store and see if they have this in stock?"

Of course.

39. "But *other store that's completely unrelated to this store* sells it for this price?"

Go there.

40. "My husband/wife is going to be so mad that I'm spending this money."

"Come again!"

41. "I don't need a shopping basket." *struggles to carry all of their items and knocks over 2 displays on their way to the counter*

"Don't worry, I'll pick that up."

42. "Can I get a separate bag for all of my items?"

Sure, just take the whole roll.

43. "Can I get that wrapped?"

"It's an extra dollar for gift wrap."

44. *Customer groans* "I'll just do it myself."

OK. "Have a nice day."

45. "If I buy more than one, can I get a discount?"

No.

46. "I found this in my car from 3 months ago, can I return it for a full refund?"

Of course you can.

47. "I know that you have this in stock."

Oh, I didn't know you worked here, too?

48. "Can you double bag that so I can hide it?"

Sure, I'll absolutely support your sneakiness.

49. "Do you take food stamps?"

No.

50. *Throws product at you, storms off in rage* "I'm never coming back here."


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This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.
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