50 Things You Hear When You Work Retail

50 Things You Hear When You Work Retail

Working retail isn't for the faint of heart.
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Sometimes it takes more effort than other times to be able to smile and say "have a nice day" after you've just be cussed out and had the product thrown at you. It seems like regular incidents that ruin that day are rude customers, broken credit card machines and incorrect prices. Once in a while you get that customer who understands that you just work here and can't control everything that goes on. Perhaps, they work retail too. Perhaps, they get these same repetitive questions and comments each and every day:

1. "Do you work here?"

No, I just wear this uniform because it looks good.

2. "What time do you get off?"

I think people mean well by this, but I'm always on edge that they're the creepy type and they're going to be waiting for me at the gate when I get off.

3. "What time do you close?"

There's a sign on the window with the hours of operation.

4. "When are you going out of business?"

Basically they're asking "hey, when are you going to lose your job?".

5. "Are you sure you're out of this?"

Yes, I'm sure. I wouldn't have told you if I wasn't.

6. "Can you check in the back?"

Yes, of course, I'll go back and stand there for a few more seconds and then come back out and tell you the same thing I already told you.

7. "When do you open tomorrow?"

Please read the hours of operation sign on the window again.

8. "Are you new here?"

Why is this such a frequently asked question?

9. "You're not here when I usually come in?"

Sorry, I do other things with my time than work.

10. "What's your name?"

I'm not wearing a name tag for a reason.

11. "Is your manager here?"

No.

12. "Can I speak to your manager?"

Sure, but they're going to tell you the same thing I just told you.

13. "You had this product last year."

You're probably right, but this is a new year.

14. "I always get this when I come in."

We haven't had the product in 2 years

15. *Gets entire life story about why the customer is buying this item*

"Have a great day."

16. "Have you ever tried this?"

Probably not, but I'm going to say that I did and that it's awesome.

17. "This is overpriced."

I just work here, I don't make the prices.

18. "I'm returning this because *tells entire life story again*"

"Would you like cash back or on your credit card?"

19. "You need to smile."

This is my third job of the day, the register is broken, my dog ran away, I spilled coffee all over my shirt and I have a headache. *Smiles* "Have a great day."

20. "What do you think my aunt's friends' sister-in-law's mother would like best?"

They're actually my best friend and I know everything they enjoy, you should choose this.

21. "Do you think I need this?"

Yes.

22. "When will you get this product back?"

When it comes on the shipment.

23. "Do you have a bathroom in here?"

"It's for employees only."

24. "Can I use it anyway?"

No.

25. "Do I check out here?" *Asks while standing at only register in store*

Yes.

26. "Do you have any free samples?"

*Hands one to them, they take it, and leave the store*

27. "Can I also have a sample for every member of my family?"

Yes, of course.

28. "Which one looks better?"

All of a sudden, you turn into their personal stylist.

29. "You're a lifesaver."

I know.

30. "Can my daughter use your employee-only bathroom?" *4 year old child is jumping up and down with her legs crossed*

No.

31. "Do you have any coupons I could use?"

No.

32. "Can I have the employee discount?"

No.

33. "How long have you been here?"

Too long, how can I help you?

34. "I'm looking for *gives description of product that is not even close to what the product actually is and gets angry when we can't guess correctly*"

"I'm sorry, I don't think we have that in stock."

35. "How do I select debit?"

"We don't have a debit option, it just goes through as credit."

36. "Can I get your number?"

No.

37. "You look just like this person I know."

I'm not them.

38. "Can you call another store and see if they have this in stock?"

Of course.

39. "But *other store that's completely unrelated to this store* sells it for this price?"

Go there.

40. "My husband/wife is going to be so mad that I'm spending this money."

"Come again!"

41. "I don't need a shopping basket." *struggles to carry all of their items and knocks over 2 displays on their way to the counter*

"Don't worry, I'll pick that up."

42. "Can I get a separate bag for all of my items?"

Sure, just take the whole roll.

43. "Can I get that wrapped?"

"It's an extra dollar for gift wrap."

44. *Customer groans* "I'll just do it myself."

OK. "Have a nice day."

45. "If I buy more than one, can I get a discount?"

No.

46. "I found this in my car from 3 months ago, can I return it for a full refund?"

Of course you can.

47. "I know that you have this in stock."

Oh, I didn't know you worked here, too?

48. "Can you double bag that so I can hide it?"

Sure, I'll absolutely support your sneakiness.

49. "Do you take food stamps?"

No.

50. *Throws product at you, storms off in rage* "I'm never coming back here."



Cover Image Credit: shortzilla.com

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10 Things Someone Who Grew Up In A Private School Knows

The 10 things that every private school-goer knows all too well.

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1. Uniforms

Plaid. The one thing that every private school-goer knows all too well. It was made into jumpers, skirts, shorts, scouts, hair ties, basically anything you could imagine, the school plaid was made into. You had many different options on what to wear on a normal day, but you always dreaded dress uniform day because of skirts and ballet flats. But it made waking up late for school a whole lot easier.

2. New people were a big deal

New people weren't a big thing. Maybe one or two a year to a grade, but after freshman year no one new really showed up, making the new kid a big deal.

3. You've been to school with most of your class since Kindergarten


Most of your graduating class has been together since Kindergarten, maybe even preschool, if your school has it. They've become part of your family, and you can honestly say you've grown up with your best friends.

4. You've had the same teachers over and over

Having the same teacher two or three years in a row isn't a real surprise. They know what you are capable of and push you to do your best.

5. Everyone knows everybody. Especially everyone's business.

Your graduating class doesn't exceed 150. You know everyone in your grade and most likely everyone in the high school. Because of this, gossip spreads like wildfire. So everyone knows what's going on 10 minutes after it happens.

6. Your hair color was a big deal

If it's not a natural hair color, then forget about it. No dyeing your hair hot pink or blue or you could expect a phone call to your parents saying you have to get rid of it ASAP.

7. Your school isn't like "Gossip Girl"

There is no eating off campus for lunch or casually using your cell phone in class. Teachers are more strict and you can't skip class or just walk right off of campus.

8. Sports are a big deal

Your school is the best of the best at most sports. The teams normally go to the state championships. The rest of the school that doesn't play sports attends the games to cheer on the teams.

9. Boys had to be clean-shaven, and hair had to be cut

If you came to school and your hair was not cut or your beard was not shaved, you were written up and made to go in the bathroom and shave or have the head of discipline cut your hair. Basically, if you know you're getting written up for hair, it's best just to check out and go get a hair cut.

10. Free dress days were like a fashion show

Wearing a school uniform every day can really drive you mad. That free dress day once a month is what you lived for. It was basically a fashion show for everyone, except for those upperclassmen who were over everything and just wore sweat pants.

Cover Image Credit: Authors Photos

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22 Things Parents Should Send Their Children At College, If They Love And Miss Them

We're getting to that point in the semester, y'all.

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Even though college students are just a little over a month into the spring semester, we are already feeling high amounts of stress over tests and papers. Nobody said college was going to be easy, and this statement is ringing truer and truer each day. So, to the parents, grandparents, or anybody else who loves us and cares about our well being, here are 22 things you should send us if you love and miss our presence.

1. Gift cards to the local grocery store. 

Preferably Walmart or Food Lion, since that's all we have here in Farmville, VA.

2. Room decor from the Target dollar section. 

Or anything from Target, for that matter. Some college towns don't have one of these glorious establishments, and we are experiencing withdrawals.

3. School supplies. 

You can never have too many sticky notes or colored pens.

4. Mints. 

Because some people need it after lunch, and gum is disgusting.

5. A cozy blanket. 

For those cold nights spent in the library until 2 in the morning.

6. A handwritten letter. 

These are one of my favorite things to get in the mail, and there is always something so sentimental about snail mail.

7. A giant box of fruit snacks...

Definitely one of my favorite grab and go snacks.

8. ... Or candy, in general. 

Preferably, gummies. But, I won't refuse chocolate candy either.

9. Cash. 

For those late night Taco Bell runs, or just to make us feel a little bit better about ourselves.

10.  A funny movie/DVD. 

There's something so simple and serene about watching a funny movie on a DVD player that brings us back to the less stressful times of our childhood.

11.  Hot chocolate mix. 

I always get random cravings for hot chocolate, but it's never enough to make me want to go buy a box of mix.

12.  Starbucks/Dunkin Donuts gift cards. 

Because the majority of our lives revolve around coffee, and sometimes our Keurigs just don't cut it.

13.  Peanut butter crackers. 

These are so quick and easy to eat between classes (or if you're like me, IN class).

14.  Scent diffuser. 

This can be even better if you send a scent that reminds us of home.

15.  Hair ties. 

For some reason, I only own about five at a time because I am always losing these!

16.  Homemade cookies/brownies. 

These always make me so happy knowing my mom took time out of her busy day to think of me and bake yummy treats.

17.  Gift cards for our favorite online shopping stores. 

What better way to relieve stress than buy clothes you don't need?

18.  Nail polish. 

You can never have too many bottles of the same shade of pink.

19.  Mug warmer. 

These help keep your cup of coffee warm for long periods of time so you don't end up wasting such a sacred drink.

20.  Lysol wipes/hand sanitizer. 

I go both of these things at an alarming rate because some places are just plain disgusting.

21.  Band-aids. 

No one ever really thinks of buying these, but they work for so many more reasons than their typical use.

22.  iTunes gift card. 

For all those "educational apps" our professors tell us to buy. *wink wink*

Every college student loves getting a care package in the mail, so if you really love and miss us, please send one our way!

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