Over the weekend, my boyfriend and myself spent a Valentine's weekend taking ourselves to see the latest installment of the 50 Shades trilogy. I am not one of the fans that read all the books and couldn't wait for the movies; I actually had no interest in the series until last summer. My roommates talked about the first movie (and all the books) before the release date, and they are way more interested in this series.
I kind of just didn't want to be interested in the newest obsession sweeping the world. Last summer, however, my boyfriend found Fifty Shades on HBO, and we thought "why not?" I'll admit, I found it to be a good movie. I had been very aware of all the negative commentary surrounding the books/movies (one of my college professors was an adamant protester against the whole franchise). I knew that while the movie fit the need for the sexy, erotic story line that so many women seemed to share, but I also knew ahead of time that this movie/book does little to accurately portray a dom/sub relationship.
I'm naturally curious, and I'm always looking up things online to get more information. Because of this, I had done some reading on what actually goes on inside a dom/sub relationship, and I can attest that 50 Shades is nothing more than an erotic story line made to sell. That's not to say that many people won't enjoy it! Hell, I even enjoyed both of the movies so far (but 50 Shades Darker is definitely ranked #1 in my book).
I totally understand our want to end our current rape culture, and the movie often blurs lines. This shouldn't demand thousands of people marching the theaters and yelling at innocent moviegoers trying to enjoy their Friday nights. I think this could start a conversation with everyone about the importance of consent. The movie (especially #2) does have scenes of Christian asking Ana for consent, and he often asks her "are you sure?" "are you ready?" "is it too much?" these scenes shouldn't be forgotten in the wake of the movies sexual nature.
People need to realize this is a lifestyle choice, and there are many, many people who engage in the dom/sub relationship and are totally happy with their choices! Typical dom/sub relationships look nothing like Christian and Ana's and I think that lack of knowledge leads to a lot of misunderstandings...which results in the anger and confusion that we see all too often in the people who protest this series.
Instead, if we used these movies to educate ourselves on the different lifestyle choices that people can make, it would result in a better understanding of what the author was trying to write about. Also, my biggest message to the people so adamantly against this movie is that...it's just a movie! People shouldn't come out of this movie turning to their significant other and say "I want us to do exactly what we just saw in the movie!"
People should know the difference between Hollywood cinema and real life relationships! Some people enjoy rough sex, some people enjoy being tied up, some people enjoy being whipped and spanked and bitten (and not just women, men can be subs too!) In a world that pushes acceptance and tolerance I think we should use it as an educational experience and teach everyone about the power of acceptance, consent, difference, and healthy relationships. And remember, it's just a movie!
