50 Internal Thoughts An English Major Has While Taking A Math Class | The Odyssey Online
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50 Internal Thoughts An English Major Has While Taking A Math Class

I am not a math person.

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50 Internal Thoughts An English Major Has While Taking A Math Class
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For the English major who isn't a pro at numbers, sitting in class could be a drag. It could even be an arithmetically induced torture if you don't like math. Here are a few things that can go through a book lover's mind within an hour and a half class period:


1. I haven’t taken a math class since junior year of high school. This should be interesting.

2. Damn, there are a lot of people in this classroom.

3. Where is there an empty seat?

4. Should I sit in the front? I suck at math, so probably…

5. Wait no, I don’t want to be a teacher’s pet.

6. That’s a lie, yes I do. That way if I fail this course I might get pity brownie points for being likable.

7. I should probably send my professor a nicely composed e-mail privately expressing my fears and apprehensions in regards to mathematics.

8. They’ll like me right away for caring. I should go to office hours…

9. Or maybe I should sit in the back?

10. All these people sitting in the front might be here because they’re good at math.

11. Which I'm not.

12. I forgot. This is the lowest level math course the university offers.

Everyone here sucks at math.


13. Screw it, I’ll sit in the middle row. That’s a safe choice.


14. Do I have a pencil in my backpack?

15. Do I even own a pencil?

16. I haven’t used a pencil in years. Love me a good black ink ballpoint pen with a rubber grip.

17. I do have a pencil!

18. Got my notebook. It’s got a nice design on it to subdue my inevitable misery in class.

19. Do I need a calculator?

20. Crap. I definitely need a calculator for this class.

21. I didn’t even bring a calculator to college.

22. I don’t even own a calculator.


23. Can I use my phone as a calculator? Is that cheating?

24. Let’s check the syllabus…

25. A GRAPHING calculator?!

Those are so expensive.

26. I’m gonna bum one off a friend.

27. And figure out how to work a graphing calculator.

28. Okay, the professor is handing out a worksheet.

29. I can do this.

30. 2+2= 4.

31. Square root of 16 is 4, obviously.

32. This is positively elementary.

33. 6-X = 2. 6 = X+2. 6-2=X 4 = X.

34. Okay, I think I’m right.

35. I think…

36. Maybe?

37. I think I have the right answer. I’m going to volunteer to answer the question.

38. Raise your hand idiot, RAISE YOUR HAND!!

39. See, told you, you were right!


40. Okay, next question!

41. Let abcdef be a 6-digit integer such that defabc is 6 times the value of abcdef. Find the value of a+b+c+d+e+f.

42. Letters? I thought this was a math class, not an English class!

43. Can I make words out of these letters? Bade… Café… Fade…

44. ****.

45. Let me look around and see if the people next to me get it.

46. This chick is on Instagram. She didn’t even bring a notebook.

47. This guy has sunglasses on and he is SLEEPING.

48. Welp, I’m screwed.

49. Now is a good time to sit dumbfoundedly in silence and let my eyes glaze over in confusion.

50. Class is over anyway, thank God!


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