You know the saying, you don’t just marry the girl, you marry her family? As most of us learn, the same sentiment applies even when entering a relationship sans the rings—you get with someone, you get with their friends. The key thing to remember is integrate rather than replace; trying to make your significant other (SO) choose between yourself and their squad is petty best, the end at worst. When you and your SO fight—and you will—their friends can make or break the chance of you getting that lets talk text. Here are five ways to work your way into the ranks without rankling any feathers.

1. Ask Questions

The best way to get someone to like you is also the simplest: ask questions. If you’re hanging out with your girlfriend and her squad, the surefire way to make friends is to participate. It may be easy to dissociate when you’re the odd one out at a gathering of friends, but pay attention and facilitate conversation and you’re on the fast track to friendship.

2. Hit the Road

Let’s be real, whether it’s the weekend trip to Orlando or midnight snacks run, nobody wants to have to drive. An easy way to earn yourself BF brownie points is just volunteering to take the wheel. Everybody loves the DD.

3. Privatize PDA

Whether we’re being petty af or are just plain squeamish, most friends just plain don’t want to see their BFF getting it on. If you keep your bedroom activities in, well, the bedroom, you’ll also keep yourself on your SO’s good sides.

4. When All Else Fails: Food

Listen. At our core we’re simple beings, we like shelter, water, and food. If substance isn’t working to win over your SO’s squad, go with sustenance. Whether it’s picking up the tab one night at drinks or just cooking something for everyone during movie night, food is the way to everyone’s heart. Just make sure you screen for allergies beforehand, because a midnight trip to the ER isn’t going to endear you to anybody.

5. Respect: Them, and Yourself

Most of the time, I’d say I know 60% of what’s going on in a conversation; the rest is all subtext. Even if you follow this simple yet super guide, there’s no failsafe way to make friends, as I’m sure we all know. Often, an SO’s friend will just have no interest in including you in their life. If they’re important to your SO who you obviously like for some reason, then they must have some redeeming quality. As long as they’re not trying to break up your relationship, trust that your SO is keeping them in their life for a reason.

There are of course, the friends that are plain trouble, who seem to actively root against you. In most cases, you’ll win more points if you maintain civil rather than sink to their level. As long as you stand up for yourself and maintain a polite relationship with even the worst type of bestie, you’ll have their respect and—most importantly—your SO’s love, and isn’t that what it’s all about?