Depression is a common mental disorder that effects one in every ten Americans. Anyone in this situation needs the best support system that they can get. Here are five ways to be the best possible friend and supporter that you can be.
1. Don’t try to relate if you can’t.
If you’ve never had depression yourself the last thing you should do is try to relate a situation you’ve been through to what they’re going through or tell them that you know how they feel. First of all you don’t. Secondly it will begin to seem like you’re making the situation about yourself and they may become unresponsive because they might think that you don’t care actually care. Try your best not to offer them advice. Again, you don’t know what they’re going through if you haven’t gone through it yourself. Even if you have, everyone’s situation is different and everyone copes differently. What works for you might not work for your friend. If you’re talking to your friend about their situation and how they’re feeling just listen to them and remain positive and encouraging.
2. Don’t stare and watch what you say.
Sometimes depression can get so severe that your friend may harm themselves. Most likely they will try to hide the marks in which they’ve made. However if they don’t DO NOT STARE. If you see marks on your friend, don’t stare, don’t point them out in front of a group or make comments about them. If you know you’re friend is struggling with depression try to watch what you say. So often we say “Oh god I want to die” or “that makes me want to kill myself”. That is insensitive to your friend. Most importantly don’t ever tell them to snap out of it, cheer up, and forget about it or anything like that. That’s not how depression works.
3. When THEY want to talk, listen to them.
When someone is going through depression they have a lot of breaking points. The smallest most insignificant thing can upset them. Sometimes they just need someone to listen to them talk about their day or what’s bothering them. Let them pour their heart out to you – don’t interrupt, just give them your full attention. You may need to stay up with them until 3 a.m. with a box of tissues but you’re helping them more than you’ll know. Don’t force them to talk when they don’t want to, when they’re ready they will. Patience is key.
4. Always be ready to cheer them up.
Stay in touch with them and offer to do things with them like going to the park, to see a movie. When someone suffers from depression, they often become distant so try your best to get them out of the house and do something with them. This avoids them sitting alone in an empty room with nothing but their thoughts. Or just simply make them laugh. Whether it’s sending them a funny picture, finding a funny video or making a fool of yourself just do what you can to get a smile or a laugh out of them. Laughing can help them to forget what upset them. Like they say, laughter is the best medicine.
5. Remind them as much as you can of their strengths and that their life is worth living.
One of the hardest things about depression is how hard it can be to believe in yourself. So make sure that every day you remind your friend about what makes them so special and what their great at. Tell them what you love so much about them. Remind them of their strengths; recall some of their accomplishments and victories; bring up old memories. Just let them know that they have a purpose here on this earth.
