Are you non-binary? Or is someone you love and adore on the gender non-conforming spectrum? Do you or this person struggle with self-love and self-care? Then this is the place for you! These are five things that help me as a non-binary individual who also has non-binary friends.Warning: memes. So many memes.

1. Remember that there are more than just two genders!

You don't have to confine yourself to being male or female! You identify however you wish to identify, and don't let anyone tell you that you have to stay in the binary. If you want to provide support for a friend, be sure to use gender-inclusive language. Using they/them pronouns, refrain from calling objects "boy" or "girl" objects, and other such actions can help spread acceptance and inclusivity.

2. Look how you want to look.

There is no such thing as a "non-binary" look. Some of us on the non-binary spectrum may present as femme, masculine, androgynous, etc. The way you look does not define how you identify. If you want to wear a skirt, wear a skirt! If you want to rock jeans and a sweatshirt, that's perfectly fine. When thinking about a gift for a non-binary person, don't overthink it! Note what your loved one's preferences are and get them gifts based on what they want and enjoy. Don't try to get them gifts to make them "look more non-binary." We are fabulous in our own ways.

3. FOOD

Everyone needs food. Everyone. Treat yourself to some chocolate, humus, Dollar Tree candy, whatever you want. Sometimes body dysphoria and stress may prevent us from eating due to worry about how our bodies look. Sometimes we stop eating our favorite foods for fear that it will cause our bodies to look less than satisfactory- and this is amplified for non-binary people who have a certain goal for their bodies to reflect their identity. Food is good, don't limit yourself! Refer to number 2- there is no "non-binary" look. Don't be swayed to thinking you HAVE to look a certain way.

4. Reach out to other Non-Binary Beauties!

I personally think that we as non-binary are the bomb-diggity. There's nobody who has shown me the greatest love when it comes to my gender identity than one of my closest non-binary friends, Alex. Your greatest support and your greatest allies will come from the members of the non-binary community due to sharing battles and experiences. Of course, every person is different, but you will be amazed at the amount of empathy and care that can come from your non-binary siblings. Take this story for example:

One of our friends was discussing they/them pronouns with us and mentioned that she wouldn't be able to remember to use the pronoun because of how her brain was programmed. Of course, I was irritated at this and quite plainly said that she would respect the pronouns regardless of what her brain was "programmed" to think. It was then that Alex explained that the dictionary even said that they/them could be used for a singular person, and I cheered them on. However, as soon as they brought up the dictionary that they had found, the girl was very quick to dismiss the dictionary as being legitimate. Alex looked up the pronoun in multiple dictionaries, but they couldn't convince the girl who was refusing to respect our pronouns. After the conversation, Alex and I worked together to discuss the issue and refused to back down when it came to using the proper pronouns.

Without Alex there, I probably wouldn't have spoken up as much. I felt as if I was alone, and I didn't have the energy to go into yet another debate about my identity and use of pronouns. They were and continue to be my greatest source of support on non-binary issues, and I strongly encourage you to look to fellow non-binaries to foster a support system.

5. Love Yourself.

This is probably the most important one. I personally have been guilty of not following this and still have to work on it, but the closer I get to the goal of respecting myself and my pronouns, the better I feel. Not everybody has the privilege of being "publically trans," so to speak. For those of us who aren't out to our families or caregivers due to legitimate fears of abandonment or loss of important resources, deadnaming and use of the incorrect pronouns is constant. However, there are circles where we can be non-binary and feel love for ourselves! Even then, I noticed that it takes a long time for us to tell our close friends and trans community that our preferred pronouns are they/them. The erasure of non-binary people in the cis AND trans community is very prominent, and I see many people (including myself) becoming satisfied with being treated as lesser and being willing to not have our pronouns respected. Others tend to say that remembering to use they/them is inconvenient, and it's exhausting to try to argue. If this happens and the person still won't respect your pronouns? It's time to get new friends. You deserve the same respect that cis and other trans people do- your gender is NOT inferior to anyone else's. It's already a long journey to love yourself- but loving yourself when your identity is constantly being erased makes the journey even more rough. There are plenty of people who will accept you, respect you and will use your proper pronouns, so work and be patient and love yourself.

Non-binaries like you and I are just as beautiful as men or women and we deserve love and respect as well. Our gender/genders are valid, our existence is valid, and our expression of our gender is valid. Never forget that YOU are valid as well.