For a season about togetherness and relaxing, the holidays are a stressful time, more so for some than others. Regardless of your family's traditions or beliefs, there will be at least one conflict in every household this season. Relationships will be tested, and families will fall apart. Secrets will resurface and feelings will get bruised. It's the most wonderful time of year.
This year will be the first time I bring “a boy” home to meet my family. Bringing a significant other into a family gathering can be tricky, especially if you've met (and starting dating) this person in another country while studying abroad (guilty, party of one?). In the spirit of lightening the awkwardness that will inevitably ensue as my family interrogates him, here are 5 tips for bringing your significant other home for the first time over the holidays.
1- Have some buffer time
It's a good idea to schedule in some time together before the “big shebang”, especially when the significant other is traveling from another country (or continent). It gives you time to coach them on the idiosyncrasies of your family. Is your Uncle Arnold a chronic farter? Does your Great Aunt Helen over perfume? Maybe your second cousin is a stripper. There is a black sheep in every family and it's always nice to go in knowing what (and who) to expect.
2- Ease them in
This year, we celebrated Thanksgiving with an upwards of thirty people, the biggest dinner I've ever helped cook, but this step works for any part of the holiday season. Because there will be so many people (and because I am contributing a side dish), I plan on getting to dinner early- as in first. Not everybody will arrive on time or at the same time. Being the first people there gives the new person a chance to meet people slowly, as they trickle in, instead of getting bum rushed as soon as you walk-in. It also gives them time to form allies with other members of the family in preparation for that aforementioned inevitable conflict.
3- Don't sit still (and choose your spot at the table wisely)
Mingle, mingle, mingle! If you don't allow yourself to get cornered with any one person for too long, the probability of your family experiencing a negative reaction to your beau is significantly lowered. Also, if you know bae won't mesh well with certain people in your family, it's best to distance yourself from them at the table. Nothing can bring a conversation to a skidding halt faster than a conflict of personalities in the middle of the dinner table.
4- Have an escape plan
The best part of acquiring a significant other is the possibility of multiple celebrations. As my S.O. is from another country- one where Thanksgiving is not understood or thought about- I will be escape-planless come Thursday. But, if your bae is local-grown, it might help to schedule your dinner appearances close together, giving you a polite and acceptable excuse to make a hasty exit should you need to.
5- Alcohol, alcohol, and alcohol
When all else fails, alcohol will always be there for you, and with it's miraculous powers of imbuing its consumers with an absence of inhibitions, it can save you from a disastrous first meeting. Once you realize you don't care what anyone thinks of you or your S.O., sitting through a miserable dinner becomes much more tolerable, and maybe even, a little bit fun.
