It's Saturday night. Dinner rush has finally ended, the madness has seized, and you are just about ready to walk out altogether.

Looking at the clock, or in most cases-staring directly at it hoping it'll jump two hours ahead-, you cannot help but wonder how much longer you'll be required to stay in this post-war zone. The servers and bussers are completely slumped, the hosts have hung up their friendly "hellos", there's food on the floor, on the walls, and most definitely on you.

Somehow you manage to pass the time, most likely gossiping about that week's restaurant drama, when the restaurant is only ten short, and beautiful minutes from closing. Here are ten thoughts every server as the countdown to closing continues.

1. "I will walk out right now if another guest walks in."

To most restaurant employees, being only minutes away from closing really means the restaurant is already closed, and for whoever decides to walk in during these intense few minutes...well...just don't.

2. "Oh crap, I did not just see a car pull up."

Yes, yes you did. It isn't just your imagination playing horrible tricks on you, its real life, and now you have to deal with it.

3. "No, no, no."

Oh no, run. The hostess is taking them suspiciously close to your tables....moment of truth.

4. "F****k I DID NOT JUST GET SAT."

Well, there goes your chance of finally escaping home.

5. "I wonder if I should just tell them the kitchen is closed."

As a server, there's' a collection of excuses available at hand for guests you just don't want to deal with, so telling them the kitchen is closed-or out of most everything-will hopefully create an urge for the guests to go elsewhere.

6." Well...guess I'm staying here forever. I'm just going to go pitch a tent in the back"

Tell my parents I love them.