As I am preparing to leave for my freshman year of college in a little over a month, I have been constantly reflecting on my life over the past year. All the adjustments, both positive and negative, that have shaped my personalty and perspective that occurred my senior year as well as the rapidly ending summer had provided me with new coping strategies, overall; a new mindset. In an effort to share my ideals with my community, I have decided to conjure up a list of the five most crucial things you must let go of in order to be happy.
1. Friends who do not reciprocate effort and work to make friendship continue.
One of my ultimate pet peeves is having friends who claim how much they desperately miss me and how much they want to see me prior to us departing for college, yet somehow I end up being the sole one putting an effort to see them. I have come to learn that I will not maintain contact with all of my current friends, no matter how much we claim we will.
2. Criticism of yourself, as well as others.
I identify as a perfectionist and know firsthand what it feels like to work extremely hard at a goal and not see immediate improvement. At times it seems the solution is to bring yourself down, when one must maintain faith in their own abilities. Life is about growth, not immediate results and growth. Similarly, humans have a flaw where we seek flaws in others in order to make ourselves feel superior. We should be working together to build up our brothers and sisters, not comparing materialistic ideals.
3. The need to impress others.
As a society, if we spent as much time worrying about our own behaviors as we do worrying about those of others, our lives would be a whole lot more meaningful. We should base all decisions, from whether we are going to wear a dress or jeans, to what career we plan on pursuing, on what would bring ourselves the most happiness. Your immediate, genuine self should be more than enough to impress those closest to you. There's no need to drive yourself insane trying to win the approval of somebody who simply does not care for you as much as you do them.
4. Long-lasting grudges.
Living in the past is a destructive way to live. I have always been driven by the theory that we should "forgive, but not forget." There will be plenty of humans who hurt you, and I suppose not all humans deserve forgiveness. Yet at the end of the day, it's no longer about them, it's about you. The ability to reside without the animosity festering inside you is what every individual deserves. If possible, I always strive to rid of all the bad blood, and avoid burning bridges. However, some people are incapable of providing you with closure, so you must give it to yourself.
5. The excuse of "not having enough time for ____.
Anything that is crucial to you, you will find the time to accomplish. Perhaps instead of claiming, "I do not have time to do laundry today," you could say, "Doing laundry is not one of my priorities today." It is more than acceptable to not prioritize everything you need to do — we must pick and choose what is most imperative to us. Changing the phrasing will create a more positive, and accurate, mindset for your to-do lists.
In an effort to spread some positivity, here is a little food for thought: "Some people may convince you that you're not amazing because they'll see your big heart as a weakness, your quirkiness as a flaw and they won't accept that you're simply a complex individual with the best intentions. They won't see the best in you. But, the thing is, some people will."
