No relationship is ever easy, but if it’s the kind of love you're supposed to have, then everything is worth it. I didn't realize what it meant to be in a hard relationship until I started dating my current boyfriend. Ryan is an infantryman in the United States Army National Guard; he is a hard-working man who loves serving his country, which is the most inspiring thing I have ever seen. I have learned a lot just from watching him go through his stuff with the Army and I find it important to let other people know what you go through and what you learn when you love someone who puts their country first.
1. Patience
I cannot tell you how many times I wanted to pick up a phone and call Ryan while he was away at basic training last summer. From June to October, the only form of communication I had with him was written letters. Granted there were a few times when he would earn a phone call and I would get to hear his voice for about 3 minutes; other than that I had to rely on a letter to know how he was doing or what he was going through. Whenever I was having a bad day, and trust me I had a lot of them, all I wanted to do is talk to Ryan and hear his voice. Although it was really hard, the letters were so worth it in the end, and now I have amazing memories.
2. Strength
I learned a different type of strength than I ever had before. Not only do I have to be strong for Ryan, but I also have to be strong for myself. While he was away at basic training, I was at home going through my own tough times. All I wanted was for him to be home by my side, but the only thing I could do was suck it up and handle it on my own. Being strong for him was also a whole new thing for me; the homesick letters he would send me tore my heart to pieces and all I could do was write back and tell him that I loved him and that it would all be over soon. He's a completely different person now; the Army changes you, which is really scary. One month you have a seeminly normal boyfriend, then he leaves for the summer and comes back a changed man. It's the same person you love, but they'll act completely different.
3. Support
Supporting someone you love that is in the military is very hard. There were (and still are) countless times where I want to be selfish and keep him all to myself. But he has an obligation to his country and I have learned that I need to support that every day. At the end of the day, I love being able to support Ryan and tell him that I am proud of him for what he has done for himself. The Army is full of possibilities for him and I cannot wait to see what he is going to do. Having to support someone besides myself was completely new to me; no one I had ever dated before wanted to do something with their life like Ryan was. It was difficult to not be able to consume all of his time, but now it feels normal when he leaves.
4. Communication
There is nothing like being far away from your significant other and having to deal with life’s ups and downs. Whether he was at basic or even when he was at drill one weekend a month, something always happened and we had/have to talk it out like adults. That was very hard at first, especially because I wasn’t used to the whole situation. To be honest, this was what I needed to learn the most when Ryan and I first got together; but every relationship needs a lot of communication. We still have our days where we don't communicate as well as we should and we fight, but I wouldn't change what I have with him for the world.
5. A special kind of love
Because I got to watch Ryan go through a lot of crap for the Army, I started to realize how truly amazing it is. I know I could never sign my life away to the military and to our country like so many other people do (I’m a sissy when it comes to anything scary). But Ryan did, and it is one if the best things I have ever seen. I got to learn a new, special kind of love because I grew to love the Army and what it has done for my boyfriends. Without it he would truthfully be a totally different person; and also without it, I would never have met him or talked to him.
