As a 21-year-old college senior, I think back on my childhood and growing up and wonder if there’s anything I would really want to change. And for the most part, no, there really isn’t anything I could or even want to change. At this point and time in my life, I’ve come to learn and accept that all things happen for a reason, even if I can’t explain it.
There are things, however, I wish I did tell myself as a little girl and growing up in middle school and high school. I look back and think of what my younger self would have wanted and needed to hear.
1. Friends come and go.
You think that you’ll actually be “best friends forever” with that girl who you’ve been friends with since you first met in middle school. You’ll also think that they’re the best person ever. Unfortunately, when you get to high school, you realize that you are both into different music and after school activities. You both realize that you’re growing up. You’ll also grow apart. And it’s okay to let go of friendships. I’ve also learned that it’s okay to let go of toxic friendships.
2. People don’t change—they grow up.
I’ve learned over time that people don’t magically wake up one day and decide that they’re a totally different person with new interests and a new personality. Everyone is shaped by different factors as time goes on. And it could be for the better, or it could be the worst. I realized that I had grown up myself when looking through my senior yearbook and saw that someone had written “Don’t ever change.”
3. Your parents are actually right about a lot of things.
My dad used to tell me when he had “funny” feelings about some friends I had in middle school and high school. I wouldn’t believe him, and would go on thinking that they’re the friends I’d keep. But it turns out that Dad is right, and that those “friends” aren’t good people. Dad is always there for you when you’re crying over that broken or lost friendship. My parents also pushed me when I was in high school. I would get into arguments with my dad about grades, when in actuality, he was just looking out for me, as well as my future.
4. Enjoy high school while you can.
No, high school wasn’t a walk through the park, and it definitely had its rough patches at times. High school is all about developing and starting to discover yourself and who you are. It was about feeling out which friends were going to be with you for the long run and which ones were only friends out of convenience. It was about stressing over SAT and ACT scores and college applications and waiting in agony for weeks for that acceptance letter from your top school. But it was also one of the best times of my life. I enjoyed the comfort of home, as well as seeing the friends I’d grown up with every day. I loved going to homecoming games and being in the band. Prom was one of the best nights of my life. High school definitely has its ups and downs, but it is one of the best times of your life.
5. You’re going to be okay.
Between stressful times at school and applying for colleges and going through all sorts of crazy events in high school, it can be hard to believe this. It’s even hard now sometimes, between the stress of college and relationships and friendships and anxiety. But you just have to keep telling yourself that you’ll get through this, take a deep breath, and know that deep down, it’s actually all going to be okay.
Now that I’m done with middle school and high school, I try and enjoy and revel each day in college. Because soon, these familiar undergraduate college days will be gone too. One day, I’ll be looking back at the memories I made in college, and wish that I was back there with the amazing new friendships, relationships with professors and staff, the lessons learned, and the knowledge I gained over these amazing four years.
