Ever since I was little, clowns have ruined everything good about my life. I don't know what it is about their big shoes, bright red noses, and colorful face paint but, clowns naturally and inevitably ruin everything.
1. Birthday Parties
We all have that one childhood memory of the friend who had a clown at their birthday party. It sounded great on the invitation sure. "Come see Cupcake the Clown. He will be doing face paintings, balloon animals, magic, and more!" Once you got there it was a different story altogether. You realized that the clown was just a sad man, in a stinky costume, who liked my make children cry instead of smile.
2. The Circus
I don't know about you, but I loved the Circus. I got to see all of my favorite animals right in my hometown. I could watch the silks dance on their ribbons, which let's be honest is the best part. Everything was fine until they let the clowns loose. All of a sudden they would be selling you popcorn, cotton candy, and overly priced coloring books. They would sneak up behind you and scare you making everyone laugh except for you. I didn't go to the Circus to see your sad face, I came to see the Elephants.
3. The Carnival
Clowns are the worst at the Carnival. It is almost like they are completely different beings. They are mean, wicked, and just want you to drop your expensive Carnival food so you have to go wait in the never ending line to buy more expensive food.
4. Halloween
You will see at least a dozen clowns every Halloween. I don't know about you, but when I see one coming my way I will go down the next street just to avoid them. I don't care if I have to pass the houses that give out full sized candy bars, I am staying away from the clowns.
5. My Life
These clowns have gone too far. I have accepted that they ruined my childhood by taking away the fun from every exciting event that they showed up to, but this is too much. They are on my Facebook feed, my Twitter feed, the news, the paper, the tv. I cannot take it anymore. Everywhere I go someone is talking about the clowns. Where they saw them, their plans for Halloween. If this does not prove that clowns are pure evil then I don't know what will.
