If you have a dog or have had a dog that has passed away then this is a must read for you.
I recently had to put my beloved Mandi-girl down because her stomach flipped. She was about 10 or 11 years old. This was the hardest thing I have ever had to do. As I held her head and made her comfortable, they injected the shot that ended her life. I felt her go from panting and happy to completely lifeless in seconds and there was nothing I could do. The worst part about that was that she had no idea what was coming. No warning and no way out. I understand that she was in excruciating pain and that it was the best thing for her, I just wish we had more time together. She taught me so much about myself and life and I can not thank her enough.
Mandi has taught me....
1. How to love unconditionally
If owning a dog taught me one thing it was how to love unconditionally. It took me until I moved away to college to realize how important she was to me. Which is quite ridiculous but it is what it is. I ended up moving home from that school two days later because I wasn't mentally ready for it. My dad let me come home on one condition..I be the sole caretaker of Mandi. Which meant getting up at 6am sometimes 5:30am to take care of her. It meant walking her whenever she needed to be let out and feeding her in the morning and in the evening. Looking back now I wouldn't change what I had to do for her for anything.
2. What responsibility really is
I've never had "real" responsibility in my life. Of course I've always had a job and yeah thats responsibility but taking care of a dog, a living breathing creature who depends on you for everything...now THATS responsibility. As she got older she started to pee randomly. On the couch...and in her crate. And she would just lay in it! I thought to myself "WHAT ARE YOU DOING!!!!" . This meant I now had to rush her outside to pee and then take her up to my bathtub and give her a bath. She had long fur..more like hair so it needed to be dealt with right away or she would STINK. Right away sometimes meant 6am....but I would do it again in a heartbeat.
3. That dogs really are better than people
I've dealt with my share of people. The mean ones, the straight up dumb ones, the ones who are too nice, the ones who talk waaaaay too much and the ones who just don't want anything to do with you. Well let me say this, there was nothing better than coming home from a long day dealing with irresponsible drivers and ignorant people to see my Mandi ECSTATIC to see me. She made all of that nonsense disappear. Even just having her sit with me on the couch or bringing her to Starbucks with me while I got a coffee, was enough to put a smile on my face. She went everywhere with me, and I sure do miss that.
4. That even on my worst days I am great
I went through a lot in this past year. From failing out of UofD and hating myself for it, to being depressed and wanting to give up, to not giving up and attending Wilmington University and receiving all A's...she was there through it all. Every step of the way Mandi was there to comfort me when I wasn't 100% myself. People who don't own a dog wont get it, but having them love you and show you affection in your darkest times is really an incredible feeling. I may have been disappointing myself but there was never a day I disappointed her.
5. That moving to Delaware was the best thing for us
Not only was I a better person after moving to DE, but she was a different dog. When we lived in Medford, MA, she was not a very social dog. She was always very friendly but never social. She would hide in our basement or want to stay outside for hours on end. We had rescued her from an abusive family so I expected this. However, that changed the minute we moved to Delaware. She was happier, a lot more active, she loved spending time with us and was just all around in a better place. Watching her transform into a different dog was extraordinary and made me so incredibly happy. Seeing how well she reacted to the move made it easier for me to adapt to my new surroundings.
Mandi-girl I am forever grateful for the time we got to spend together. I am a better person because of you. You helped me learn what real responsibility is. Taking care of you all by myself (a little help from mom, dad, and kris), was truly an experience I will never forget. Six years will never be enough time for me, I needed a lifetime. Knowing I made your life so much better than what it was before takes a little of my heart ache away. You were mine, MY responsibility, MY main priority, MY everything. No one will ever be able to feel the pain I felt the morning of February 15th, 2016, but I truly believe everything happens for a reason. Although I may not know the reason why your life had to end so suddenly, I do know that it's what was best for you.
Thank you for everything you did and taught me Mandi, I love you more than you will ever know.
