Growing up, my family used to be a bit more lovey-dovey. I vaguely remember getting kisses from my parents, and sharing ‘I love you’s’ with them and my sister. Now, it’s the relatives that do all the kissing and hugging, and if we even say ‘I love you’ to each other, it’s considered unusual. Plus, about the majority of my extended family is long-distance, small, and we rarely get chances to see each other because of time and work constraints.

My family is unconventional, but there is still love between all of us -- even our extended family. And we do get along, even if we never see each other or we get on each other’s nerves. I do find some things that I can find in both my immediate family and my extended family, no matter how small or far apart we are. Like:

1. Support:

My family really had to step up and do whatever they could for me growing up and accommodating with my medical disorder. Paying for the countless hospital bills, making sure I get the best treatment, making sure I’m not trying to escape out the window while I’m in in-patient care. Though my extended family couldn’t be there, they seemed to always be clued in to my progress whenever we’d meet, and they’d be happy I was getting taken care of.

2. Understanding:

Literally. I speak English easily with my parents and my sister. But when it comes to my extended family whenever I see them...there’s not really much of a language barrier as it may seem. I have limited Chinese and they have limited English. Though we’re still able to understand each other. And since my cousin has been going to school and living in Canada, he picked up on the English pretty well, so there’s more chances of having conversations. On top of the understanding each other verbally...they can understand the struggles of teen angst, the struggles of college, the struggles of puberty, and the struggles of growing up different from everyone else.

3. Cousinly bonds:

I have two cousins. One lives in China and is at least 30 years-old. The other lives in Ontario, Canada and is over 25. I try not to play favorites, and it doesn’t seem as if I’m more closer to one than I am with the other. Even though I may see one more times than the other. Besides that, I know that whenever I can see either of them, I can always expect an affectionate, loving hug and it would be as if no time had passed. Whether through bowling, teaching them how to play the Wii or having family dinner, I know our bond is stable and secure, and we love each other, despite not exactly saying it.

4. Sisterly closeness:

Okay, I confess, I DID play the part of the annoying kid sister who never left my older sister alone, especially when she had friends over. But as we grew older, I think my sister and I came to a truce. We became close as our parents got a bit more strict with us and hard to handle. We do really get along, when we’re not driving each other up the wall and she’s not throwing fake punches or sitting on me. Sometimes we even unleash our craziness to each other when we hang out (it’s often not at the same time, so one of us is always found giving the other a look, questioning our sanity). At the end of the day, through our insanity, through our habits of annoying the heck out of each other, we are always close and we always have each other’s backs.

5. Constant familiarity:

Most people text their aunts, uncles and cousins. Sometimes they find family on social media and send them a friend request. My relatives don’t really do texting, or if they do, they only resort to writing Chinese. But I learned that communication isn’t really much of a necessity, as it may be for most families. Even if my aunts, uncles, cousins and I don’t communicate with each other yearly, whenever we do get to reunite and see each other, it’s always a mess of big, tight hugs, and friendly faces as if we had always been communicating. We don’t need weekly or daily texting or Facebook messaging to keep our love and familiarity.

A family is a family, no matter how big or small. No matter what, we all have a connection with each other and we’re pretty much stuck with each other. Even if we are in separate parts of the world, our bonds are forever and it's like they say 'distance makes the heart grow fonder'.