Too often we hear the phrase “are you sick?” when in all reality we have just been cursed with pale, sunburn-prone skin.

1. Pale skin doesn’t just “go away”. If you’re blessed with pasty white skin, then you know that tanning just doesn’t happen like it does others. You have two shades – white or red. You can lay in a tanning bed all you want or bathe in self tanner and the most you’ll end up with are orange streaks and burnt skin. Yep, you heard it here first. You can’t fix pale.
2. Pale people don’t care to be constantly reminded that they’re pale. We understand wholeheartedly that we look like ghosts, after all, we do have to live with ourselves. Your vampire jokes truly aren’t THAT original and yes, we know that we’re blinding you while wearing anything other than full-on pants and long sleeve shirts. Sorry, not sorry.
3. NO I AM NOT SICK. Unless there is snot running down my face, coughing coming from my chest or vomit coming out of my mouth, I am not sick. This goes for all of us. If I am sick, just like any other human being walking this planet, I will tell you. I will complain so much you’ll want to rip your ears off. And then I will continue to be extra-pale, because you didn’t even know that was possible.
4. Yes, our faces get bright red when we blush. Also when we run. Or when we’re hot. Even drunk. Crazy enough this is completely normal and even non-pale people’s faces have this same reaction. I know, I know, your mind is blown. It’s some weird science about your blood pumping through your body or something like that. I’ll let you do the research.
5. STOP USING THE DAMN FLASH. Every time you turn the flash on, we turn into a floating pair of eyes with hair. We are already white as can be, so why are you trying to make us look WORSE. C’mon, let us have the home-field advantage just this once. Please.