5 Things My Older Brother Taught Me About Relationships
Being only 16 months apart, my brother, Matthew, and I have always been extremely close. We have been each other’s best friends for our whole lives. More than that, he’s been the one person I have been able to look up to growing up. Matthew is extremely smart, funny, sweet, talented, and handsome. (It runs in the family.) Not to my surprise, a large amount of my friends have had crushes on him and I’ve heard the phrase, “I would totally date him if he wasn’t your brother” multiple times. One of the greatest lessons he’s taught me, whether he realizes it or not, is how to handle relationship. Here are some things Matthew taught me:
- Don’t repeat his mistakes. I won’t go into specifics but being a younger sister, I could see how people in his life affected him personally. This has kept me more aware of how different people in my life effect my personality. This is more than just the people I date, though. I have friends that I’ve acted like a complete @$hat with, that in the long run were no good for me. Matthew, I know you had to learn this first (just like everything else in life) but thank you for giving me the chance to learn from you.
- Don’t settle, ever. This isn’t to say that I or my brother have never settled but it’s something to be avoided. Matthew constantly tells me how proud he is of me and how much he loves me, and he’s seen me at my worst. Even after ratting him out as a kid, cursing at him as a teen, and not always being on the same page in our 20s, Matthew has always loved me. If he can respect and love me for the past 21 years, there’s no reason someone else couldn’t for the rest of my life.
- Be goofy, crazy, and comfortable. My brother has always been one to make other’s happy. He has a crazy, sarcastic, goofy sense of humor that literally always makes me laugh. I grew up constantly entertained and surrounded by his great energy. I’ve seen him be with girls where he holds back a bit, but I’ve also seen how happy he is when with a girl just as crazy and comfortable as he is. (Shout out to Kate, you’re nuts.)
4. It’s okay to put yourself first. I’ve seen him give more of himself then he gets back on various occasions, but there comes a point when you need to put yourself first. This also goes for friendships. Going into college, I had to let a lot of my high school friends go simply because I needed to focus on myself growing as an individual. Matthew taught me that this is okay, and that not all people are here to stay. I feel comfort knowing this because no matter what I will still have him, just 16 months ahead, leading the way.
5. I will never find anyone as good as Matthew, but he’s led me to someone close. Matthew will always be the person I look up to as the perfect man. He’s always been very honest with me about who I’ve been in relationships with and gives me real advice with no filter. This is part of the reason I really trusted his opinion when he approved me dating his best friend, Mike, for the past five years. I’ve never been happier in a relationship than I am with Mike and I have to give credit to Matthew where it is due. Thank you for giving me the chance to fall in love and teaching me what’s important when it comes to relationships.
