Last Friday, I went out to eat with my husband’s grandmother. I don’t know many of my friends who have a close relationship with their grandparents, much less their significant other’s grandparents. However, my grandmothers live far away, or have died, and thus I have found a grandmother in Grammy Jan. We don’t always get to go out to places, but when we do I always find that I have plenty to reflect on later.
1. Grandparents usually know best.
Most people find their grandparents to be old-fashioned, and that may be true. However their old-fashioned ways tend to be truer than the trends of today. Grandparents have a wisdom that one only finds after a few extra years on this planet, and I respect that they have a lot more life experience than me. Though we may not agree on every point, I find that over time my ideas begin to look a lot like my grandparents. Truth stands the test of time.
2. Their work ethic is impeccable.
Grammy Jan worked extremely hard and became very successful in business; all of my grandmothers are, and were, very strong and very independent business women; all four of them grew and owned businesses while taking care of their families in a time where it was still difficult for women to get a credit card. Talk about bosses. We complain about equality today, but they made up the working force when misogyny wasn’t just subliminal, but right in their faces and blatantly on their paychecks. However, Grammy Jan doesn’t talk about how hard it was, what she talks about is what successes she had and how she did it. The kind of grit that it takes to keep working even when success does not come easily seems to have disintegrated with my generation.
3. They know style.
Grammy Jan is always dressed to impress. In fact, right before our lunch, she had gone to get her hair done. It reminded me of the last time I had gone to my hairstylist (longer than I care to admit). She also consistently looks style-appropriate to whatever atmosphere she will be in. All of my grandmothers had wardrobes that were always well put together. I realized today that I do not own one short sleeved shirt that isn’t a T-shirt. I’m not saying to respect someone because of what they wear (or don’t wear), but in all fairness, how we present ourselves is the first thing that someone sees. People of my grandmothers’ generation understood this and consistently choose to represent themselves in the best manner possible.
4. They are master conversationalists.
Grammy Jan refreshes my soul; our conversations do not hinge on what she believes to know about my life, but rather on both of us asking questions in an attempt to not only understand but better respect each other’s lives. She has practiced the art of conversation, which is to say that she genuinely listens and responds appropriately to what the conversation is about. None of my grandmothers were people that you could describe as an awkward potato. They fully understand how to hold a conversation with someone in person, and they take in account to whom they are speaking with. It was truly awesome to get to talk to her without her taking out her phone or getting distracted by what was going on.
5. They have genuine interest in your life.
I never have to worry about Grammy Jan saying that she is too busy to talk to me, nor do I ever worry that she will stand me up or forget our date. Grandparents understand the point of keeping commitments and showing someone interest. They really enjoy listening to your life, and spending time with you. That’s not so easy to find these days as everyone seems to have something going on and no time to dedicate to those that are important to them.
If you still have your grandparents around, go take them out for dinner. Sit with them, without your phone, and talk. Let to conversation flow naturally, and pick up some of those skills for yourself. I promise you won’t regret it.
