I work at my local YMCA branch as a camp counselor, I have a lot of under privileged kids who are just shuffled through life. Most of our campers are on scholarship and come with a home life we can’t even imagine. I have kids who need more help and personal attention than I can give considering that I have eight to 10 other campers that I manage on any given day. I work mostly with five- and six-year-olds and by the end of my 10 hour day, I am usually exhausted and my brain has died. But by the next morning I have bounced back and ready to have a great day (which usually gets ruined by 9 a.m.). Working with these kids has given me a lot to think about I have five things that have really stood out to me.
-tripping and falling (which leads to crying)
-cutting in line
-hitting and kicking (sometimes biting)
-full blown temper tantrums (for no apparent reason)
-cheating and being a sore loser
When a five-year-old trips over his or her own two feet just because, either they pop right back up and keep going, or they burst into tears and just won’t stop. Most of the time when they start to cry it is because they got scared or they saw the reaction of the closest adult. If I were to have a worried or scared look on my face when the child who fell looked at me the chances are they would mirror that reaction, it’s biology. Which is why I do my absolute best to always have a smile as say you’re alright whenever a kid falls near me. Most of them pop up and keep going. If I have a kid who starts to cry I walk over and the first thing I say is your’e okay, and then I ask to make sure. Then I have them shake each body part and then their whole body until I get a tiny smile and they go about their business. When we get older we trip ourselves all the time and we have two options; to pop back up or stay down and keep crying. It is up to us which reaction we run with, shake it off or stay down. It’s easier to get back up if your support system is always smiling at you saying it’s okay, so make sure you have people like that to have your back.
The best way for kids to travel is in a line. Now in the real world, it takes several minutes to get somewhat of a line shape and even then once you begin walking it all goes to pieces. The kids start moving and the line is now in shreds and kids have wound up in different places in line. Then the infamous “He cut in front of me!”, “She is supposed to be behind me!” begins. When we get older it seems like people are cutting in line for every single thing. The best example I would imagine would be when we are driving. People are so caught up in where they need to be and the fastest way to get there. So many accidents are caused by careless driving as well as road rage. I offer to you what I tell my kids, we are all going to the same place so it doesn’t really matter. Take a few moments when you are behind the wheel and remind yourself that it will not be the end of the world if you are a few minutes late. Being late is better than not showing up at all.
Hitting and kicking is another issue I deal with multiple times a day. Even if it starts as something innocent like just rough housing or “playing a game” as the kids like to say, in a split second something can turn into a real fight. Even something as touching someone with out their permission even if it is something that doesn’t hurt is invading personal space. I tell my kids each day, multiple times a day “keep your hands to yourself.” it’s the easiest way to avoid any accidents or hurting someone. It is the best policy when it comes to dating or getting close to any person. Personal space is just that, personal and in order to keep everyone safe, keep your hands to yourself.
One of my fellow counselors has a kid whose parents are just not getting along. He goes back and forth from one house to another every other day. His behavior shows it, we have yet to figure out what triggers his tantrums and sometimes he will go on a rampage for no apparent reason. It can take up to 20 minutes to get him to simmer down. Before we were unaware of what his home life was like and we just thought that he was doing this on his own and it was infuriating. Now having a better understanding of what he could be dealing with allows us to try different approaches to how to interact with him. This happens with all the kids at one point or another, it is impossible to understand exactly what these kids are going through because they can’t really tell us because they might not understand it at all. This happens to adults too, people deal with their problems differently. Some people may act out by being rude or short while at work. This isn’t the best scenario but if all you do is work and go back to a hard home life where else are you supposed to release those feelings? So the next time you find yourself interacting with someone who may just give off a terrible person vibe they may be going through something unthinkable. We are just humans, after all, it’s hard to compartmentalize. Temper tantrums usually have a reason even if we can’t see it.
Another thing I’ve dealt with a lot is cheating at games and being a sore loser. Now for my definition of being a sore loser includes not wanting to play the game once you are eliminated as well as being so angry once the game has been lost that you go pout in a corner. Cheating is simple if you break the rules in any form or fashion to win. I’ve seen this mostly with the boys just because my girls don’t get as competitive. Me personally I am always up there with the boys wanting to win at everything. I was a sore loser myself the other night after a soccer game, lost 4-3 and still kind of bitter about that one. But I just have to remind my kids that it is just a game and life goes on. Yes there are cheaters but you just have to work around them and make sure you hold yourself accountable.
The problems we deal with as kids don’t just go away, we deal with them sometimes every day just in different forms. It’s important to take some time to think about your actions and take some time to think about other people’s actions. This can take a total of 10 seconds and it can change your whole outlook on life and the issues you see in day to day life. My kids are still learning but so am I.
