For about 14 years, I experienced “youngest child syndrome.” During that time, I was reminded of how much I was loved, how cute I was and how happy I made my parents. Until my oldest niece was born. I wasn’t jealous that the affection I previously received became hers. On the contrary, I was excited. Before, being around my niece meant watching TV with her while my sister helped my mom cook. Other times, it meant holding my niece’s hands as she learned how to walk. Now, having a niece means being and having a friend. I used to think I, as the grown-up that I was, had to “do all the work,” leaving behind footprints my niece would have to follow. I tried to be the teacher, not so much the student, but I've realized I have more to learn from her than she does from me.

1. Remember birthdays.

Do it. Whether you call, text or sing "Happy Birthday," people will appreciate you for remembering. As cliché as it may be, it’s the thought that counts. Since I’ve started college, my niece has called me on my birthday. She’ll ask whether I want her to sing the birthday song, and, if yes, whether I’d like to hear the Spanish or English version (which she recently learned). One year, she even saved a dollar her dad gave her and instead of spending it on candy, she gave it to me. A dollar isn’t worth a lot, but she remembered.

2. Question things.

Is your homework unclear? Ask a question. Did someone yell at you for no apparent reason? Ask a question. Always, always ask questions. My niece always catches me off-guard by asking questions at the most inappropriate times, but if she didn’t question what I say, I might not actually think about what comes out of my mouth. When my niece met my cousin’s daughter, she asked why the little girl’s skin color was darker than hers. My niece didn’t understand the difference between ethnicities, so she asked. While we may have thought of her question as silly, it was an important lesson she needed to learn.

3. Talk about uncomfortable things.

Feels are important. Sometimes, someone will bring up somebody whom you don’t talk to, and that’s OK. It’ll be uncomfortable, but it’ll help you deal with the situation. After noticing our cold interaction, my niece asked what was wrong between my mom and me. I tried to brush it off, but my niece kept asking questions. Eventually, I told her my mom and I had disagreed on something. I started thinking more about the situation and felt embarrassed that my mom and I argued over something so insignificant. Talking about uncomfortable things not only helps you get past the uneasiness, but it also helps you reevaluate the situation.

4. Hug people.

When they’re sad, when they’re happy or even when they’re doing homework, just hug someone. Your affection might change somebody’s mood. A hug is a small gesture, but it really can make a difference, especially if the person whose mood you’d like to change doesn’t like to talk through achievements or challenges. I get excited every time I’m going to see my niece because her clinginess makes me feel appreciated. My niece doesn’t care much about the emotional state I’m in as much as she cares about the emotional state she wants me to be in.

5. Take silly pictures.

Nobody’s looking and if they are, who cares? You might never see them anyway — and making funny faces will make you laugh, so who’s the winner here? Besides, the older the picture or video gets, the funnier the memory will be. My niece and I like to look at things I’ve saved from her childhood. Sometimes, she blushes at what she did or said, but it helps her acknowledge how much she has grown since. Now that she’s getting older, my niece has become more worried about how she is portrayed than how she’d like to act. But if we take silly pictures, she comfortably let’s down her wall, remembering the purpose of silly pictures is to remember a moment rather than to define who a person is.