Like every girl in her pre-teens, I was insecure and trying to find my place. Here are things I wish I could tell myself now:
I would tell her things get better.
You have been through so many trials and you did not think you would make it. You cried over boys, bad test grades, and losing special friends. Through it all, you have met great guys who are there for you, made exceptional grades, and have gained better friends than ever before. To all the situations that devastated you, things get better.
I would tell her that you are not responsible for other people’s happiness.
You do not have to put other people's needs above your own. You do not have to be constantly drained for the belief that you can fix others. Those people cannot put their happiness into one person. You hurt the people who rely on you for their happiness, because you enable them. When you're gone, they will be worse off than before. Then you are left picking up your own pieces and without the pieces you gave to the other person.
I would tell her not to rush herself.
There are some things that you will figure out in your own time. You do not have to act older and as if you have everything together. Overtime you will become the person you want to be. Until then, enjoy your crazy friends, be yourself, and make mistakes.
I would tell her that people are not worth changing for.
You felt that you were not “it” enough to be in the in-crowd. You did not need to change anything about yourself to be more accepted. Your unique personality will attract the people you need to surround yourself with: the people who appreciate you and pull you up. The ones you feel like you need to change for, are not the ones who will stick by your side and encourage your differences.
I would tell her you’re beautiful.
You thought that all the popular girls did not have flaws. You thought you were the only one struggling with insecurities. You did not know that everyone has their own insecurities. Just because you did not fit society's idea of “beautiful" doesn't mean that you weren't. You are your own kind of beautiful. You are genuine, thoughtful, and trustworthy. You would do anything for those you care about. Beauty is not all on the outside, it is within you. Your love and confidence shine through and your real beauty shows.