1. Pause
I reiterate this idea often. We so rarely get the chance in life to truly pause. Even our own parents and grandparents had regular times where they were forced to disconnect and pause. We, however, do not. We are constantly obligated to use our free time to check emails or social media or text messages.
Silence is golden isn’t just a cheesy old phrase, it’s a fact. Silencing our minds for an extended period of time is frightening. One of my favorite books, “If You Want To Write”, discusses this problem we face:
“That is why most people are so afraid of being alone. For after a few minutes of unpleasant mental vacancy, the creative thoughts begin to come. And those thoughts at first are bound to be depressing, because the first thing they say is: what a senseless thing life is with nothing but talk, meals, reading, uninteresting work and listening to the radio. But that is the beginning. It is just where your imagination is leading you to see how life can be better.” - Brenda Ueland
However, this process of letting ourselves think in the presence of silence is so important to finding our way and listening to our own thoughts, instead of the thoughts the world fills our heads with everyday.
2. Reset
Resetting is different for everyone. I believe some of this difference stems from whether you are an introvert or extrovert. But I am an extrovert and for me, resetting means separating myself from everything and everyone and letting myself pause, first, and then talk or write it all out until I have a new understanding.
For you, resetting could be buying a new notebook and writing goals in it. Resetting could mean going outdoors for the first time in a while. Resetting could mean spending time with someone you cherish. Again, I think this is something you have to figure out for yourself, and it can also change over time.
Resetting can be as simple as changing your pace. Go for a run for the first time in a while. Take a day trip to a place you've never been. The options are endless, you just need to do something.
3. Write
Now for me, resetting includes writing. But the next step of writing is different, and I truly believe everyone should do it.
We all need tangible goals and aspirations. I’m not sure what the science is behind it, but I’ve realized there is something about taking a thought and putting it on a page. It makes the thought concrete. It makes the dream a tangible reality. It makes you process the idea in a way you can’t do in your head.
Writing is important. Keeping track of your thoughts and ideas is important. Write down your self discoveries. Write down your goals. Write down your dreams. One of my favorite things is looking back and realizing how something I thought about in 2011 is effecting me now.
I know I am a writer, but even if you are not, you need to write.
4. Move Forward
This seems obvious at first glance. I almost deleted it when I first started writing this. But then I realized it’s obvious, but a lot of us don’t actually do it. A lot of us don’t even realize when we are lost. And if we do realize when we are lost, we try and make it better, but we don’t get anywhere. Not only do a lot of us skip the moving forward step, but a lot of us never get that far.
I’m not trying to be discouraging but it’s the truth. In a world where we are so easily distracted some of us never move on. In a world where we are so quick to move on to the next thing our world throws at us, some of us never step back and decide exactly where and how we want to move forward.
This step should be strategic and concrete, not mindless motion for the sake of moving.
5. Don’t Look Back
I’ve had a reoccurring theme in my life of looking back. This is something I still struggle with often, but I’m learning to keep my head forward. The more we look back, the more we stop moving. Looking back makes us get stuck. Looking back makes us regret. Looking back stops us from looking forward into the distant future of our dreams.
There is a time and a place for everything, even looking back. Reflection can be productive in certain circumstances. When someone we love passes on, we look back at their life in appreciation and love. But when you feel like you’ve lost your way, looking back will do you no good.
I think our natural reaction when we feel lost is to look back. My theory on this is that it’s easier to look at something familiar when you are lost, than something new, but the new is what will get you where you need to go.
Next time you are feeling lost, take these 5 steps and use them to move forward in confidence of the unknown, not looking back for something comfortable and inhibiting. You will find our way, you just have to be patient and active.
xoxo,
Lizzie
