Have you ever been so into someone that they seem perfect? Nothing they do whether it be to you or in their own lives could possibly be wrong. They make you feel special and valuable. They are seemingly everything you want in a partner and you think that no one could possibly be better for you than them. There’s a catch though. Maybe they only text you late at night to hang out. Maybe they make plans with you only to leave you hanging. Maybe they are reluctant to make your relationship official. Maybe they even “talk” to other girls besides you. You constantly make excuses for them. You justify the things they do with reasons that make sense because you hope so desperately that they will turn out to be the person you want them to be. Ever hear one of your friends say, “Oh, he probably hasn’t texted me back in hours because he is busy during the day,” or, “don’t worry, I think that girl I saw him with is just a good friend”? We see through it when it happens to others, but how many of us make these same excuses for guys we talk to? I hate to be that girl who says it, but if he seems too good to be true, HE PROBABLY IS! Words are just words if they are not followed by actions. Come on ladies, it’s time we stop giving them the benefit of the doubt and demand the respect we deserve. Here are five signs to look for to know that, “Mr. Right” is really not the guy you think he is.

1. He only texts you late at night.

If you have been waiting all day for a text from the guy, and finally get a “hey” at 11 o’clock at night, odds are you aren’t the first thing on his mind during the day. The guys who really care will take the time to send you those good morning texts, ask you how your day is going, and say good night at the end of the day. Someone who decides to text you when they are bored and wants to hook up is not laying there missing your personality. Also, if he sends you pictures (you know what I mean) and wants you to send some back, HE IS A SCUM BAG! What has our culture come to where intimacy is shared over snap chat and text? I know how hard it is to say no, knowing you are disappointing him, but you have to use your common sense. Someone who really cares about you and your feelings would not be upset if you say no. Most importantly, someone who cares what you think of them wouldn’t send you those pictures in the first place! The guys worth keeping around are the ones who want your respect and who respect you! Don’t try to please a guy expecting him to treat you well because you did what he wanted. Once he gets what he wants from you, you’re tossed aside until he wants it again. Sorry, it’s the truth.

1. He constantly brakes plans.

Things happen on occasion, and sometimes people have to cancel. When it happens over and over, however, that should be a warning sign. Don’t put up with those bs excuses he gives you the third time he says he can’t make it. If his friends or his own interests come before you, then you are not his priority. If he makes up excuse that you discover are lies, that is a done deal right there. You don’t need someone in your life who lies. Liars don’t change! You don’t need to be waiting around for him to make plans on a Saturday night. Go out. Have fun. Don’t let some guy who doesn’t make time for you ruin your night. Here’s the golden rule to keep in mind, someone can ALWAYS make time for someone they want to see. Even if it is a quick meet up for coffee or grabbing a bagel before class. Someone who wants to see you WILL try and see you. If they can’t hang out or meet up one day, they will ask what other times work for you as well. If they say, “Sorry, I can’t. I’m really busy,” I hate to brake it to you, but they aren’t trying to see you. Don’t take it personally, and move on to someone better. Remember, you deserve someone who would throw the world aside to see you for even just a minute.

1. He doesn’t invite you to parties at his house.

This is definitely a college thing, especially for guys in frats or on a sports team. If you are talking to a guy and you find out that there is a party at his house or with his frat or team and you weren’t invited, RED FLAG! The reason you weren’t invited is because he wants to hook up with other girls without you knowing and getting in the way. Mixers don’t count. Sometimes frats have closed parties with a specific sorority and outsiders aren’t allowed; that’s completely understandable. When you hear about a party at the frat or team house that he is in that’s open to anyone, and he didn’t tell you about it, that’s a bad sign. Don’t show up and expect him to spend all his time with you either. Trust me, if he didn’t make an effort to tell you about it then he probably was to be a free man for the night.

1. He talks to a lot of other girls.

This one speaks for itself. If you know that the guy you are talking to hangs out with other girls and hooks up with them then you know its not going to go anywhere. What are you doing spending all your time hung up on some guy who is only trying to get with as many girls as possible anyway? If all you want is to hook up, then fine. You do you. If you are expecting him to change for you, on the other hand, you need to realize that he just isn’t going to. You are worth more than that. Don’t let anyone make you a second or third choice because somewhere out there is a guy who would do anything for you to be his only.

1. He never tries to move the relationship further.

This one is a little tricky. If you have only been talking to a guy for a month or two and things are going well, just give him a little time. Some guys like to take it slow. There’s no need to rush into a relationship, especially in college. Just enjoy where you are at and go with the flow. Now, if t has been many months or even going on a year and he still hasn't made it official, you need to have a talk. Life is too short to wait around for someone. If you think he is afraid of commitment then maybe it’s time you sat down and confronted the issue head on. Your life and your relationship shouldn’t be put on hold just because someone isn’t ready. If they aren’t ready and you are, you need to think about yourself first. Your happiness is important, always remember that. If the guy is making you stressed most of the time then believe me, it is better to be single than always unhappy.

Ladies, there are always going to be guys who give you attention. There will always be guys who will do anything to gain your trust and then leave you hurt. There will always be guys who seem so perfect that you can’t imagine not being with him. From personal experience, let me tell you that no guy out there is perfect. No guy is worth compromising your values or your happiness for. Stop making excuses. Odds are, you aren’t fooling anyone but yourself. Yes, it sucks. It hurts when the boys we like look right through our beautiful personalities and just want us for the way we look. There is hope though! For every bad guy out there, there is a great guy who will treat you the way you deserve to be treated. I thank God everyday for my boyfriend who came along after so many other guys I’d talked to and dated turned out to be after the wrong things. For all you single ladies out there, OWN IT! Be your own woman and seek to improve your own lives and worry about your own futures. You are the only person that can make you happy, and any man in your life is just a nice bonus.