Everyone has that friend. You know — that friend who actually isn't your friend. Only sometimes it isn't so obvious. So how do you know if your friend is actually a shady hoe on the low? Here are five signs to help you see that your B-F-F is really a B-*-T-C-H.
1. She always posts pictures you look like sh*t in
You weren't ready for this picture. You guys took at least 73 pictures. How could she post THIS picture when there were 72 better pictures?! The answer — she isn't blind, she just isn't your friend! She saw your lazy eye, and the angle that gave you a double chin in that picture. And guess what, now all 500 of her followers saw it, too. She wanted to look better than you. And, now she does. (At least you know she had to use your worst picture to do that.)
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2. She says you look better without makeup
Come on... Everyone looks good with makeup! Its sole purpose is to enhance your beauty. If you're not using it right, a friend will show you how to use it.
3. She has to talk over you, and everyone else
Literally, she will forget any idea of an inside voice so that all you can hear is her voice. She clearly loves the sound of it. It happens when its just the two of you, but when you're in a group it is TEN. TIMES. WORSE.
4. She isn't happy for you when you start dating a great guy or any guy
She will say things like: "He is stealing you from me," "You know I'd never choose a guy over you," "He isn't even that cute," or "So this is your current boy toy?" She will devalue your commitment and feelings to feel better about her own relationships.
5. Anything you can do she has/can do better
Oh, you made dean's list this year? She has had a 4.0 every semester. You went to the gym? She goes every day at 5:00 A.M. You got asked out on a date with the guy you've been crushing on for months? She went out with him freshman year and he had a small... minded view of the world. You volunteered at a local animal shelter? She built it and adopted seven puppies. Even if she has to lie to do it, she will make it her life's goal to one-up you.
Bottom line, misery enjoys company; but misery is nobody's friend.
