Being a girl is hard. Every day a new challenge crosses our path. We are bombarded with societal nuances and labels and are then judged when we don’t fit the cookie-cutter quota of female expectations.
As a girl I am constantly scrutinized for my decisions — whether it be the clothes I wear, the degree I pursue, the friends I make, or the president nominee I support (Bernie Sanders, if you were wondering), there is a negative connotation to every characteristic that supposedly pre-defines my womanhood.
When I was in elementary school, a girl in my fifth-grade class commented on how hairy my legs were. As a blonde, it never seemed to be a problem that my more or less white, fuzzy hair on my legs was an aesthetic problem. Following that incident, I was then described as gross and unkempt as a girl who, in fifth grade, wasn’t wearing a bra.
Mind you, as a 22-year-old, I remain an A-Cup (and proud). Some days, depending on what I’m wearing, I can get away without wearing a bra. But having someone point all of these things out to me at a young age squandered what free-flowing confidence I had. I suddenly became aware of every flaw on my body, especially that I didn’t really look like a girl and that I needed to.
But being a girl meant I couldn’t play football with the guys (something I did every day on the playground). Being a girl meant I had to wear skirts and dresses, none of which I liked. Being a girl meant I had to brush my hair, which my mother usually resorted to pulling back in a ponytail because I hated having my hair tamed. In middle school, I tossed aside everything that made me a tomboy in order to be a girl. I learned how to shave, how to straighten my hair, how to pluck my eyebrows and wear makeup because that’s what society told me to do.
Why does any of those things matter about “being a girl,” anyway?
No matter which way you slice it, we are judged for everything we do, there is a negative connotation to every characteristic we convey, no matter our age.
I’m asking you to disregard the societal construct of gender and what it means to be female. Instead, just be you, whatever that may be. To help, I have provided five little reminders below, but the bottom line is, just do what makes you happy.
1. You are beautiful.
I do not care if you are tall, short, thin, stout, purple, green or pink. I do not care what those mean girls called you or that girl who either made fun of your clothes or your legs for being too hairy. I do not care what reason your crush gave you was his/her reason for not liking you back, or if that boy claimed you weren’t pretty enough, or that your breasts were too small — there is no reason to point out a flaw in anyone. No one is perfect. Girls hate other girls who are pretty, or have a strong personality and refuse to go with the flow. I do not care what they think — do not let them ruin your confidence.
2. You are brilliant.
I do not care what college you’re attending, or if you best friend’s university is listed higher on the U.S. News Report College Rankings. I do not care what genre of books you read (or if you like to read at all). I do not care if you do not like to memorize formulas and I especially do not care if you still use your fingers to count. I do not care about that mistake you made however long ago, or that grade you recieved on your last test. It’s in the past, and everyone makes mistakes, you can only learn from here.
“Everyone is a genius. But if you try to teach a fish how to climb a tree it will live its whole life thinking it’s stupid.” So do not worry, you will find your thing. Maybe not today, maybe not tomorrow, but someday you will find your perfect niche and excel. So stop comparing yourself and your education against others.
3. You can make a difference.
I do not care if someone is speaking poorly about you, someone always will whether you give them a reason to or not. I do not care if you think you have nothing to be optimistic about. Find something to be passionate about and be passionate about it. Smile, a lot. Laugh, a lot. Compliment, a lot. Start a conversation with a stranger. Be positive — do not dwell in the “could have been” or the “maybes,” look forward to tomorrow and the impact you have the ability to make.
4. You can be happy.
I do not care if your friends are dragging you down — remove yourself from that relationship. Rid yourself of drama that may be plaguing your life and refuse to fight fire with fire: do not make someone else feel bad about themselves in the process. Do not let a boy define your self worth. Be you and embrace it. Be remembered for being happy and making others feel good.
5. You can be you.
Embrace you, do not try to be something your not. Love your inner-weirdo because we’re all a little strange. No one is normal (what even is normal anyway?) — if everyone were, where would the fun be? It’s weird not to be weird, to be genuine.
Just do you.
