In the current election, I can really only think of one man that really represents America as a whole. That one man is Donald J. Trump. He's the most sincere, and honest politician right now. He truly cares for our people and the future of our country.
1. He's a successful business man.
Donald Trump has dedicated his life around business. He's been very successful at failing business. No other president has ever failed to create not only a university, but a beverage company, a board game, a vodka, and he even tried his hand at the meat market (Trump Steaks; no, seriously, look it up).
2. He loves kids.
Donald loves children, especially his own. In an interview, he said he would date his own daughter. How pathetically sweet! Not. Nothing says "I love you, daughter" like saying you'd date your own daughter! This man really loves kids. I mean, what better way to show you love children than kicking a crying baby and his mother out of your rally?
3. He's a great investor
Donald has contributed to the economies of many countries! Starting with hotels in the Middle East, Panama, Uruguay and cheap clothing from China branded with the trademark Trump logo. Trump is a great investor, just ask China, North Korea or the UAE; after all they are the ones receiving his capital and not the American people.
4. He loves women.
Donald loves and respects women, just ask Ivanka, his daughter! Trump, on many occasions, has said that he will punish women who get abortions when, and if, he gets elected. That's the honest woman-loving man we need in office!
5. He loves immigrants.
Donald's own mother was an immigrant. How can he not love them? I mean two of three of his wives were immigrants as well! In a quote from the Donald in reference to Mexico, “They’re bringing drugs, they're bringing crime, they're rapists." How wonderful of him to accuse an entire country of being druggies and rapists! He must really love this country.
In case you haven't noticed already, this article was entirely satirical. Please don't vote for Trump, he's an awful human.
