If I had to make a list of the most sort after guys, the poet would be a solid number three. Everyone loves to fantasize about falling in love with the "artsy" type, but I don't think they know what there getting in to. Loving a poet can be one of the most stressful things you can do in the era of your youth. Here are 5 reasons not to date a poet.
1. You Will Become A Poem
It sounds romantic, right? Being eternally immortalized in art is all good and dandy until you really think about what a poem entails. Whether the relationship reminds you of sundaes on blistering Sunday afternoons, or bloodied fists against white pavement, a poem is the most personal form of artwork. It doesn’t matter if the reader understands that the poem titled “Unrequited Love” is the account of his love for your sister, you know. A poem is like a sex tape, and yeah it’s fun making it until it goes viral for everyone to see…
2. The Infamous Over Exaggeration
He didn’t just go to the store; oh no, oh no he traveled through the most treacherous terrain in hopes of attaining the ever so delicious Chick fil-A. He didn’t just lose his pen; he had to wander the world unable to express his true self. His words confined to the tip of his tongue. Everything, I repeat everything, is being over exaggerated, which is entertaining to watch until he calls you at 4:25am, for the sixth time in a row because his soul cannot fathom resting without you next to him. His restless soul translates into you missing your 8:30, for the sixth time in a row.
3. The Compliments
He will make you see yourself in the most uncomfortable of lights. He will force you to love every nook and cranny, every awkward part of yourself. His compliments will expose everything you considered imperfect, because a poet falls in love with the imperfections first. He will take videos of you when you are not looking, will take photos with no filters, and you will catch him staring at you as you pick your nose with a goofy smile on his face and you will love him. You will love that he loves all parts of you until it shows up a week later in his poem titled “My lover’s imperfections,” then you will hate him and as you chase him you will consider the ways in which to assault him and then you too will have become a poet.4. The Silent listener
It sounds great, and in all situations it is. He will listen to all of your problems without complaint. He will try to offer solutions but if that doesn’t work he will just listen, and you will find yourself opening up more than you ever imagined possible. You will tell him more about yourself than you ever intended and he will end up knowing more about you than your best friend. Through talking at him ( “at” because “with” implies an equal exchange of information) you will discover things about yourself for which you might not be ready. Like that argument you had with your mom over denting her car really was your fault and you really should call and apologize. Ask yourself are you really ready to share all parts of yourself with a poet? If the answer is yes, I implore you to re-read number 5.
5. He will never stop loving you
I read in my Psych 100 class that there's a theory that those who express their emotions tend to feel emotions at a deeper level. Imagine someone who glorifies all form of emotional expression; it’s like being in love with emotion itself. Once you enter a poet’s life you will forever be a part of him. His love will be so consuming that it will convince you of his conviction, You will find yourself believing the fairytales. You will never doubt that he would do anything for you, that he would travel the world and fight Trump all for YOU. You will never doubt these things but you will doubt him. You will doubt whether he loves you or who he is when he is with you.
You will doubt whether him asking about your family and listening to your struggles is him actually caring or his search for poetic inspiration. You will doubt everything but his love and you will realize that without everything else his love is nothing. So, before you fall in love with the most selfish artist to exist, ask yourself, are you truly ready to love a poet?
