I’m a third-year college student living in Miami, FL. I’ve had my fair share of exhilarating moments, from cuddling with a baby lion to pre-gaming with P Diddy... and not even knowing who P Diddy was.
However, throughout my 20-year journey here in Miami, there has been a considerable number of events in my life that make me cringe inside. Feel free to cringe with me and as I retell these embarrassing experiences.
1. Shot-gunning without really shot-gunning
I just graduated high school & was entering college that fall. I wasn’t really into frats or greek life. I never visited Tallahassee to experience FSU, nor checkout Gainesville to really see what their tailgating was all about.
Long story short, I wasn’t familiar with the so-called term “shot-gunning." I went to my first frat party and tried impressing these boys by shot-gunning a beer in front of them for the first time… let’s just say I was sucking the life out of that can. After what felt like a century, one of the boys told me I forgot to open the can. Shoot me.
2. Thinking A$AP Rocky was Travis Scott
If you don’t have a subscription to Netflix, you aren’t really living life to the fullest. It’s a website that streams media and video on demand online.
Last year, they came out with this movie called DOPE. I was “Netflix & chilling” with this guy who obviously knew his stuff when it came to rap music. I thought I’d be slick and mention this amazing movie (that I hadn’t seen yet), and to my surprise he was a huge fan of it. Fifteen minutes into the movie I see some famous black rapper and instantly shout “Travis Scott is so dope”. I wanted to make it seem like I knew my rappers (little did I know the actor was definitely not Travis Scott). I swear this guy’s soul left his body. He looked at me dumbfounded. I left shortly after.
Hey, sometimes people get confused... Miley Cyrus and Justin Bieber at one point were related I swear.
3. The "twins" decided to peak out
Look, when I was a freshman in High School I was obviously still going through puberty. Everything was growing and it was awkward. I was invited to go tubing with a couple of friends. Tubing, for those of you who aren’t aware, is when people ride inner tubes in the ocean, river or a lake. This experience occurred at a lake in Miami known as E Lake. It's surrounded by houses, so very easily anyone and everyone could see you.
My friend’s father was driving the boat with the three of us on the tube. For some strange reason, the Lord decided to grant me the blessing of losing my bikini top in the midst of the ride. My twins were free. We had to cut our ride short. While I cupped my girl’s, the father had to pull the string inwards in order for me to get on the boat. Two words: awkward and humiliating.
4. The Crazy Ex-Girlfriend & My lashes
It was my first semester of sophomore year and tailgating here at the University of Miami is huge. I remember getting my eyelash extensions done that morning because I knew I was going to see my boolater on that day. Fast forward to the tailgate, we were enjoying ourselves, talking and flirting. I wasn’t aware that his ex-girlfriend from 4 years ago was still infatuated with him (you can see where this is going), so I didn’t think being around him while she was around was a big deal.
A tailgate at the hard rock is huge…what were the chances I’d bump into her?
So here I am talking to my guyand all of a sudden out of nowhere I get shoved from behind and find myself locking eyes with his ex. It’s not done… as I got shoved I see what appears to be a bud light thrown directly at me, hitting me above my left eyebrow, causing all that liquor to splash onto my face. However, here is the embarrassing part… MY LASH EXTENSIONS WERE ALL FALLING OFF!! Since I just got them done, the liquor from the beer can ruined them. It looked like mini spiders were on my face. Call me Spider-Woman.
5. The OBGYN Visit
I saved this for last because I just want to let you know this was probably the most awkward experience of my life. This was not my first visit, so I was already familiar with the physical exam.
The nurse was young and the doctor was a tad older. They were both females so I was comfortable with them. The way the room was set up was unusual. The chair was faced slightly to the left of the door, but still completely exposed me if the door was left open. Behind the door is a hallway where plenty of people enter to go into the rooms or bathroom.
Anyways, I lie down on the exam table, prop my feet up on those stirrups for the doctor as we wait for the nurse to come in. Can you believe... the nurse swung the door so wide open while I was already on the table with my legs spread wide apart... I made eye contact with some woman’s husband. I screamed and busted through that door and shamed that man for first, looking at my bacon, then proceeded to screamed at the nurse for being troll.
Safe to say, great stories never come from in your comfort zone.