Growing up, I never really thought about what life would be like if someone close to me had gotten extremely ill. Only a few month ago, I had received the devastating news that my father had been diagnosed with pancreatic cancer. At the time, I was finishing up school at the early college program that I was in and I was preparing myself for the big transition into campus life at the college that I'm in now. Since then, my life has been full of crazy ups and downs, but I've learned how to cope with it in my own way. Here are ways that I've been able to cope with having a sick parent while being away in college:
1. Know that they will appear to get worse before they get better.
When someone first starts going through chemo and/or radiation, it can take a big toll on the patient. These treatments can really take a lot out of a person. Chemo and radiation sometimes result in hair loss, weight loss, and fatigue. It's certainly difficult to see someone like this, but just know that these things come with certain treatments and that they can get better.
2. Ask for help.
Something I've struggled with is mustering up the courage to ask for help. Having a sick family member while in college (or just in general) is an extremely stressful thing to deal with. It's important to get hep if you need it because you need to be at your best, so that you can be there for your family. It's important for you to be in good health as well and it will make them feel better knowing that you're not stressing so much. It's taken me a while to come to terms with this, but I know now that it's okay to feel scared and that you shouldn't be afraid to ask for help. There will be no judgement. Counselors are there to help you learn to cope with the situation if you feel that you can't on your own and that's okay.
3. Surround yourself with people that lift you up.
If there's one thing I've learned throughout this whole experience, it's that having friends and other family to surround yourself with really does help. If you have people that are close to you, hang onto them and hold them close. Friends and family can really help to cheer you up during times like these. They could be going through something similar too, so it's nice to have someone else that you feel like you can talk to. Even if you don't want to reach out for professional help, talking to a friend or family member is a good place to start.
4. Spend time with them when possible.
For me, it's more difficult to spend time with my father because I'm away at college and without a car, so I take every chance I can to call him and go visit him when possible. Take advantage of the time you have together. Time is so precious. It's stressful for those around the person that's sick, but it's obviously much different and more stressful for that person as well. Avoiding your family member can make them feel as if you're shutting them out and don't want to be around them. It's important for them to know that those close to them care and want to be there with them because they need people to help lift them up and comfort them too.
5. Find a positive outlet to invest your spare time in.
Dealing with the stress of having a sick family member can be all-consuming and take up a lot of your time. I've found that finding something positive to do really helps and keeps me from sitting and thinking too much. I like to invest my time in writing because for me, it's a way to calm my mind and unwind. I also figure skate whenever I have time because it's something that I truly enjoy doing and it's a good way to relieve stress. Finding something that you really love doing can really act as a positive outlet and life your spirits up.
All in all, know that there are people that care about you and that are willing to help you if you need it. It's important to just be there for each other and take each day as it comes. Situations like these can be very hard to deal with, but just know that there are others who are going through similar things and that you're not alone.
