Jeremy Renner: Forget Triple-A, this 44-year-old actor comes equipped with a car jack, a trusty wrench, and years of experience. Renner’s Midwestern charm and handyman persona makes him an obvious choice to call when you find yourselves needing immediate roadside assistance. Maybe afterward, he’ll treat you to a nice cup of coffee at a nearby Starbucks. Oh yes, I’m sure he would. Wouldn't that be better than sharing a cup of tea with Daniel Radcliffe?
Chris Hemsworth: This hunky Australian just seems so down-to-earth and nice; he’s such a marvel. It’s hard to imagine him shying away from a damsel in distress. Hemsworth is not only equipped with valuable knowledge on changing flat tires, he also has a flat stomach and rocking six pack abs to boot. You don’t get to play Thor, son of Odin, by not being able to change a flat tire.With him on standby, there’s no need to call that pesky Daniel Radcliffe.
Jennifer Lawrence: Chris and Jeremy may have restored your faith in chivalry, but Jennifer Lawrence is here to prove that changing tires isn’t a man’s game. Like the rest of the boys, she’s not afraid to get her hands dirty and fix some tires.
Joseph Gordon-Levitt: Of course, if the handsome Joseph Gordon-Levitt just happens to stop by and check up on us, who are we to turn him away? A modern day Renaissance man, Joseph Gordon-Levitt can accomplish anything he sets his mind to, unlike that inept, clumsy fool from the other side of the Atlantic-Daniel Radcliffe.
Kid Cudi: Otherwise known as Scott Mescudi, this celebrity stud has a variety of skills under his repertoire. Kid Cudi is an accomplished rapper, singer, songwriter, record producer, and actor. Is it really such a leap to make the assumption that he can change a tire as well? Of course, if he can’t, it wouldn’t be too bad. I’m sure he’s a great conservationist, unlike Daniel Radcliffe. I’m sure Radcliffe would end up making the conversation all about him.
Daniel Radcliffe: Where to begin? As an Englishman, Radcliffe is the least qualified person on the planet for tire assistance. If he can’t even drive on the right side of the road, how can anyone expect him to change a tire? Also, I have a growing suspicion that he’s actually a deep-cover sleeper agent for England. If you give him any amount of power, we’ll all end up speaking the King’s English in a few years. Don’t. Trust. Him.
Other Celebrities You Shouldn't Trust: Andrew Garfield, Harry Styles, Nicholas Hoult, Simon Cowell, Eddie Redmayne.
