There's a bunch of folks that try to convince everybody to learn a foreign language. Like duh! Everybody speaks English why should we bother? It's not like having stronger brains and better expression skills is something cool. Like, I'm totally out of such geek stuff. But don't get me wrong, I obviously know the important words. How could I ever order my favorite Starbucks drink without knowing that Venti is the Spanish for bigger; it's sooooo alternative. So let me tell you why I think learning a new language is just a waste of time.
1. It damages your brain!
Let me be blunt. I AM NOT A ROCKET SCIENTIST. I won't ever win a Nobel Prize, so why bother developing synapwhatever and rotting my brain with grammar rules, heavy vocabulary and weird sounds? Also, I was shocked to read that scientists say that learning a new language increases the amount of grey matter in the brain. Whatever it is, it sounds horrible so BEWARE with this really true fact.
2. Who rules the world?! English speakers!!! (and ants, but that's another topic).
English is spoken in virtually EVERY-SINGLE-COUNTRY in the world. Why bother to immerse yourself in different cultures and learn new ways of seeing the world when we as English speakers have free language passports to every soil we step on. I mean, everyone is trying to learn OUR language. Make them do the dirty work. The easier and effortless for us, the better. I've had enough with my own boring English courses in high school.
3. Practically useless.
Time is gold, so why waste it with something that eventually won't pay you back? Everybody knows that a second language doesn't give you any retribution. It won't make you stand out at job applications. Who would ever want to hire someone who can yell at them at German at any unexpected moment?! Besides they might have to pay you higher because of your special qualifications. No boss wants higher expenses.
4. Foreign languages are secret weapons to destroy English.
It is widely known that people don't want English weird schwa sound and complicated reading. In fact, foreign languages like Chinese or Spanish are trying to gain ground and decimate the already weak English culture. We must stand towards such attack and fight back by refusing to learn their languages or even engaging with their cultures. After all, what more could we learn about non-english-speakers (or non-white Americans for that matter) that our precious and completely unbiased media hasn't told us yet?
5. SIMPLY NOT WORTH IT.
Period.
I don't hate multilingual people; I even have friends that speak several languages (of course I ask them not to do it when they are around me) and some, I assume, are good people. I really do. However, I love English so much and won't let any other language take its place arguing "cultural embracing" or "diversity" nonsensical trash. Those are just pretexts that leftists and radical foreign-language terrorists students invented to take over the power and enslave our poor and unprotected English.
#MakeEnglishGreatAgain
