A new school-year has begun for college students in the U.S., and with it come the struggles of adapting yet again to the academic environment.

Undoubtedly, you will find many advice columns on how to deal with the overwhelming nature of returning to school, but here you will find an honest account of my favorite things to do that you probably shouldn’t imitate (even though you probably already do).

1. Taking 5-hour naps after class

You know that moment you get out of class, where you think to yourself that advancing your homework is probably the best course of action, but you decide to take a “short” nap first? It should be okay, I just need five minutes, you think to yourself, as you lay on your warm sheets, letting the comfort of your soft mattress envelop your senses until you’re in a deep sleep….

Five hours later, you wake up, wondering what time – what day – what year it is? What was supposed to be a five-minute nap became the reason why you didn’t do the reading you were supposed to do for your class the next day, and now you’re left with two options: one, stay up all night to do your homework; or two, face the guilt of not knowing what on earth is going on in the class discussion.

2. Using activities, clubs, and friends as ways to rationalize why you haven’t done your homework

Doing extracurricular activities and developing a social life are one of the most important aspects of college. Indeed, most people would encourage this, though of course, they would put a limit on the amount of time that you spend doing this; after all, coursework is just as important…

Well, when you’re trying to postpone that dreadful moment of sitting down and opening your textbook, it certainly doesn’t feel that way. Somehow, it suddenly seems like the perfect time to start goofing off with your friends without a real purpose in mind.

3. Offering to do favors for other people

It’s fascinating to see how easily you can become the most selfless person on campus when you need to find excuses to procrastinate. Helping your friends organize their dorms, offering to go grocery shopping with them, or anything else that you wouldn’t normally consider doing can sound like a great idea when all you really want to do is avoid your responsibilities. Then again, you would be acting selfishly if you refused to help, right? Right? RIGHT??? (Please just say yes so that I can feel a little less terrible about myself.)

4. Eating and taking multiple showers

I enjoy being hygienic and gorging myself as much as the next person, but never am I more tempted to appease my basic needs than when I ought to be doing schoolwork. Third shower of the day? Fourth meal in a row? Who really cares as long as it helps me avoid homework!

5. Giving up and just leaving your work for last minute

There’s nothing sweeter than the moment you fully decide you are not going to do that damn homework today. There’s no point in feeling guilty for doing something other than your work if deep down you are convinced that it is not going to get done that day. Once you decide to leave it for a later date, your mind will be free and so will you…oh, and your paper will totally suck, but those are lesser problems, eh? Better than sitting there unable to write anything other than the first word of your paper….

We all know that there are endless ways in which you can run away from your responsibilities, but if you’re doing so anyway, why not have fun while you’re at it?