5 Easy Ways To Be The Perfect Restaurant Guest

5 Easy Ways To Be The Perfect Restaurant Guest

But for real, people who do these things are the worst.
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Pretty much everyone has been to a restaurant at one point or another. I happen to work in one, so I'm there all the time. As someone who works in a restaurant, there are some things I wish our customers knew. There are some things you just shouldn't do or say, whether because it's rude or just annoying. Being the perfect customer is easy.

1) How are you? I'll have water.

When your server greets you, never respond in kind. Just give them your order. "I'll have water" is the only appropriate response to "How are you?" or "Welcome to [insert place here]." This is just basic manners. Don't be one of those people who returns the greeting. That's just inefficient.

2) Substitute everything

Servers and culinary professionals get tired of making the same dishes all the time. Help them out and spice it up by substituting every part of your desired entree for something else. It's best if what you create doesn't even remotely resemble the original dish.

3) Children

It's also always great to bring very young children into the restaurant. The best time for this is when they're cranky or late at night. Order the messiest possible thing for them (I'm looking at you spaghetti) and cut it into teeny tiny pieces. If you can somehow get them to throw it everywhere, that would be ideal. Also, don't bother cleaning up. Servers and bussers live for that part of the job. Bonus points if you also tear all the straw wrappers into tiny pieces and scatter those as well.

4) Tip Horribly


Tip your server around 5-1o percent even if they were amazing at their job. They make a whopping $2/hour wage, so really that tip is just extra. Sure, they work really hard to make sure you have everything you need, and you did choose to go to a restaurant where tipping is a thing, but that's really not your problem. You got your food, so why bother showing appreciation for good service?

5) Arrive Late

Walk in right before closing time. If the restaurant closes at 10 p.m., make sure you get there around 9:55 pm. Everyone is bored at this point anyway. The place is almost closed, business is usually slow, and they're shutting everything down for the night. This makes it the perfect time to show up and order food. It's even better if you can manage to stall your departure. Just sit there like the entire restaurant revolves around you. Don't bother leaving, even if the place has been closed for an hour. You're a paying customer. Why should you care that the staff might want to get home at some point? Sit there all night if you want.

Bonus: Steal the Pen

Servers carry pens all the time. Some have a special kind they like or a favorite one. Don't worry. We love it when you steal our pens. It's not like we had to buy those ourselves or anything. Stolen pens make our day. Really.

In actuality, people who do these things are the absolute worst when you work in the restaurant industry. So please, next time you're in a restaurant, pay attention, and do not do these things.

Cover Image Credit: Flickr Creative Commons

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I'm The Girl Without A 'Friend Group'

And here's why I'm OK with it

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Little things remind me all the time.

For example, I'll be sitting in the lounge with the people on my floor, just talking about how everyone's days went. Someone will turn to someone else and ask something along the lines of, "When are we going to so-and-so's place tonight?" Sometimes it'll even be, "Are you ready to go to so-and-so's place now? Okay, we'll see you later, Taylor!"

It's little things like that, little things that remind me I don't have a "friend group." And it's been like that forever. I don't have the same people to keep me company 24 hours of the day, the same people to do absolutely everything with, and the same people to cling to like glue. I don't have a whole cast of characters to entertain me and care for me and support me. Sometimes, especially when it feels obvious to me, not having a "friend group" makes me feel like a waste of space. If I don't have more friends than I can count, what's the point in trying to make friends at all?

I can tell you that there is a point. As a matter of fact, just because I don't have a close-knit clique doesn't mean I don't have any friends. The friends I have come from all different walks of life, some are from my town back home and some are from across the country. I've known some of my friends for years, and others I've only known for a few months. It doesn't really matter where they come from, though. What matters is that the friends I have all entertain me, care for me, and support me. Just because I'm not in that "friend group" with all of them together doesn't mean that we can't be friends to each other.

Still, I hate avoiding sticking myself in a box, and I'm not afraid to seek out friendships. I've noticed that a lot of the people I see who consider themselves to be in a "friend group" don't really venture outside the pack very often. I've never had a pack to venture outside of, so I don't mind reaching out to new people whenever.

I'm not going to lie, when I hear people talking about all the fun they're going to have with their "friend group" over the weekend, part of me wishes I could be included in something like that. I do sometimes want to have the personality type that allows me to mesh perfectly into a clique. I couldn't tell you what it is about me, but there is some part of me that just happens to function better one-on-one with people.

I hated it all my life up until very recently, and that's because I've finally learned that not having a "friend group" is never going to be the same as not having friends.

SEE ALSO: To The Girls Who Float Between Friend Groups

Cover Image Credit: wordpress.com

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Writing Saved My Sanity

Write it all down when you can't talk to anyone.

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I love writing.

I have since elementary school, and I've dreamed of becoming a published author. I started off writing stupid plays in elementary school, then it grew it almost writing a full-blown novel in middle school. I have no idea where that thing went to. It was all notebook paper and bad writing. In high school, my writing was kinda pushed to the side so I could focus on school. When I entered college, I started writing small poems about my now ex-boyfriend.

I was scared to express myself to him sometimes, the intensity of my feelings for him scared me. So instead of telling him, I wrote them down. When I tried to share them with him, he hated it. He thought writing down feelings was weird and creepy. So I didn't share anything else with him. When we finally broke up for good, everything just poured out of me. What I couldn't express verbally, I wrote or typed out.

I always have ideas flowing through my head. They never cease and I wouldn't want them to. Writing gives me an escape, from stress, work, school, or fights. It gives me a place to vent and to be open with everything. This is a reason I love writing for Odyssey, not only has this place brought me amazing friends but revived my love for writing. I'm never without my notebook anymore, I'd get distracted in class by an idea and have to write I think then and there.

I love sharing my more personal writing with close friends, especially my poems as of late. I found that I have a voice for young women who find themselves in a toxic relationship much like mine was. I want to speak out and show them that you can grow from the bullshit. It may take some time, but you will be better.

Writing saved my sanity. It allows me to express myself without having to use my actual voice. Anyone who knows me, knows I hate public speaking. I tend to psych myself out leading up to it. My current projects include writing for Odyssey every week, I'm in the process of trying to continue my short stories, and I'm excited to announce that I'm currently working on my very first poetry book!

Writing has given me so much, and I'm so looking forward to making a career out of something I love so much.

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