Out of all the things I have been in my life, an adult is by far the strangest. From buying groceries and turning those items into edible meals — to making money and figuring out how to not spend it all — it’s a tough job. I haven’t been an adult very long, but from my short experience I have complied a list of some of the things I need to make sure the job is done — properly anyway.
1. Day to Day Event Planner
In high school, my guidance counselor planned my day to dayand before that, my mama did. I own countless calendars and day planners and of course, my phone has the capability to hold and remind me of all my activities (when I put them in). But, sometimes things slip through the cracks.
Sometimes, especially on days like today, for instance — I get off work a little early and have absolutely nothing planned. Usually there are things that I should be doing, but I end up dancing and singing karaoke with cats in my bedroom for two hours. I don’t know how it happens — but you better believe it does.
2. Personal Dietitian/ Chef
Cooking is hard. I mean, I can make Pop Tarts and ramen as good as Chef Ramsey — but when it comes to making a nutritional meal, I’m better off rolling through the Subway drive-thru. I don’t know how people diet. I would definitely need someone to do it for me.
3. Personal Drill Sergeant
Along with not knowing how to diet, how would one exercise? I tried crunches once — it was horrible! In all fairness, exercise is like vegetables. It tastes horrible, unless you bury it under cheese! It also wouldn’t hurt to have someone who is constantly on me to go to the doctor when I’m sick or take my car in for an oil change.
4. Personal Shopper/Stylist
I would hire my sister for this job, by the way. I don’t know if it’s because she is my older sister, so genetics just make me jealous of her in general, or that she legitimately has better fashion sense than me. I’m going to go with a mix of both. I’m still figuring my body type out and online shopping is not my strong suit. Any help would be nice!
5. Hair and Makeup Team
Like any other girl, I have a large Pinterest board full of makeup and hair ideas. That being said, I cannot use liquid eyeliner to save my life — and I have a drawer full of partially used foundations, as matching my skin tone seems impossible. I can do my hair, but if someone is doing my makeup ... they should just do my hair too!
Obviously a 22-year-old college student waitress could not afford anything on this list. One would need a decent career or a rich husband. Not everyone can be born a Kardashian. Duh.
