There's always this unwritten rule with students these days; you have a duty to yourself, and an honor to your family to graduate High School and then attend college. Though that is not true of everyone. Each year, each moment of life was then a constant spiral because no on had told me, not that anyone else knew what to say, but I know I wasn't ready for it. There are some pretty important things I wish I had been told before running off to college that could have ruined it all, and I want to share them with you.
1. Insomnia/Sleepless Nights
The biggest problem with any college student is staying up late, whether this is your incessant need to go out into the party life, you're struggling with your homework/studying for an exam, or you just can't sleep because you're thinking about all of the homework you will have in the future. So there you are... fourteen episodes into Grey's Anatomy (or whatever show strikes your fancy) because you just can't close your eyes, but you also can't function appropriately to do anything else like writing one of your five papers due within the next week. So you get on your phone, the time that only Tumblr and Reddit understand, but sleepless nights often lead to uncharted territory... like being cranky.
I realize that going to sleep is the one thing that you want to desperately do. I remember wishing that each day was nap day because then I wouldn't be so exhausted all of the time... but just take a moment. I know it may not feel like you have one, trust me... I've been there. But you must understand that this behavior is causing more harm than good. I know that procrastination is easy to come to grips with, that is until your papers are due, but if you don't take a moment, sleep, stop partying so much, or just take a breath... The sleepless nights will swallow you whole, and truthfully, you deserve better than that. Your body will thank you, the caffeine problem you have found yourself shaking with will thank you, and ultimately you'll feel better.
2. Depression/Anxiety
Depression creeps in when you least expect it, you may not even know that it's happening until you're already stationed within the depths of your own hopelessness. What will come of you? You're so unhappy that the anxiety kicks into overdrive thinking of all of the mistakes you've made, that you could excel at a quicker pace if you studied for that exam another hour or so instead of sleeping. You have inadvertently allowed the dark voice inside of your head to take hold of you and sink you further.
It is ok to be depressed. It is ALRIGHT to be anxious. Do not allow the weight of the world or what people presume to be the "correct" way to function confuse or alarm you. You are magnificent, even if you don't feel that way about yourself. Everything you feel is valid and understandable, but know... you're Never alone, even when you have convinced yourself that you are. College is hard, sometimes unbearable, and if you don't think you can do it... that's the motivation to do it. Depression cannot define how hard you work or where you'll be in the future. Anxiety can't keep you grounded, your wings will still flap and you will be exceptional. Remember that you control it, not the other way around.
3. Horrendous Diet
I know that you're busy. I know that you are chugging along and trying to do the best you can with what you're working with; having one or more jobs, going to school either part-time or full-time and still finding some time to study and do homework... no wonder your diet is atrocious. However, if you have a moment to be reading this or if you have a moment to somehow get on your phone or make calls, you can take a moment to put something else in your body. Let me be clear, I am aware that grease filled foods are delicious, but what you're putting into your body may cause your face to breakout, oil to form on your skin even if you have showered, and even cause gastrointestinal problems.
Stop for a minute, I know that you have one, eat something that isn't Taco Bell or McDonald's. I'm not saying that you can't eat this food, I love Taco Bell as much as the next person, but consuming it so often can really mess with you. Your stomach can only take so much, so if you care about everything else that's going on in your life... why don't you care about what you put into your body? Remember that you are worth the time, and your body is worth taking a moment to think about putting something else into it.
4. Toxic Relationships
I know you're picturing them right now, that toxic relationship. They can be a parent, a sibling, another relative, best friend, significant other... I know you see them in your head because I can still picture my own. They were everything, a consuming fire that lit your days and made everything worth it, but their secret was killing you. It's the partner that struck you, the sibling that reiterated how useless and disgusting you were, the parent that oozes disdain about how you are or what you're doing in life. It's your best friend, who you can't help but love, yet they only call you when they want something from you. Don't you think there are better people out there than that?
STOP! I know it's hard, to say goodbye, to remove them from your world... but think about you. Do you not deserve the happiness that the world has yet to offer you? (The answer is most certainly YES!) Do not deny the turmoil these individuals may have caused you, they have served their purpose, or at the very least you have served yours to them. It's time to let go. You can still love them, you just can't give them power over you. You are the only person who can control what you do or do not do in your days. Take your power and EMBRACE it! Free yourself, you don't need that kind of energy in your life.
5. Lack of Self-Care
Definition of Self-Care(as told by me): Self-Care is an individual person's ability to deliberately make sure that they are in a solid place both physically, emotionally, and mentally.
Do you fit this definition? It seems that once we immerse ourselves within the box of our college education, we forget that we too are people. I myself have fallen prey to having a lack of self-care. Have you forgotten yourself lately?
Are you so sick, but you have so many papers and so much studying to do that you just don't make a doctors appointment? Are you panicking and breaking down more often than not, but once again have "too much going on" to actually seek out a therapist? Did you shower today? Look at yourself in the mirror and decide that today was going to be a good day? When is the last time you have relaxed?
I'm here, validating everything you're going through. Your struggle and internal turmoil are important, but why let that get in the way of success? Succeeding is not just about studying and getting high marks in classes, it's also about being able to find a way to balance your own self-worth, and that of where you'd like to be.
Take a breath, it's ok to be sick, but make an appointment to see a doctor. You don't help anyone if you go to class and spread the "love" with all of them.
You feel like everything is falling apart, more or less impending doom followed by panic? Make an appointment to see a therapist/psychologist, they can and will help you, even if you just needed someone to hear you complain about how hard this all is.
Did you hear someone say something smells weird? When's the last time you took a hot shower? Stop what you're doing and jump in. Just stand there, soak it in, relax a little, and remember that even if you're struggling... you CAN do this.
