IT'S TIME TO GET MAD!!!!!
The time of year has rolled around once again. March Madness! The NCAA Basketball Tournament is upon us. It's that time of year when everyone is a seasoned analyst of college basketball. Print off some brackets. Join a betting pool with some friends. Sit in the conference room at work and watch the game on the projector or on one of the various TVs around the room added especially for this week.
It's hard to believe, but not everyone gets as crazy about the 'Big Dance' as you or I. For many years groups of people have created their own subject to place in a bracket in order to supplement what they're missing. Let's take a look at some of the other topics and conflicts a bracket can be useful in resolving.
Breakfast Cereals
Mom is at the grocery on a budget she can only get one cereal. Tommy needs a sugar high from his Cap'n Crunch in order to get through the school day, but Dad's cholesterol is through the roof and needs Multigrain Cheerios! WHAT IS SHE GOING TO DO?
The battle of breakfast cereals has long been a contentious fight. Families have been torn apart at the kitchen table in the morning. Heavyweight weight match-ups lie ahead in this potential bracket. Lucky Charms v. Fruit Loops. Frosted Mini Wheats v. Bran Flakes. This alternative bracket topic is sure to start a fight.
Toilet Paper
Ah. The age old 'which toilet paper do I use after using the bathroom' question. Do you get the commercial 1-ply or the heavy duty industrial 10-ply for those extra messy situations? How cheap is too cheap? What is my required softness? Could I use this to sand down my kitchen cabinets? Do I really need toilet paper? The search for the right toilet paper raises many questions, some of which may not come up for the average joe. Make your choice wisely.
Beer
It's the end of the week. Ya get home, grill yourself up a nice steak and some taters, turn the tube on, and kick your feet up. What could possibly make this scenario better? Exactly what you and I are both thinking, a nice cold one. Which one do you choose? Something cheap? Well that might just end up tasting like a piece of bread or stale urine. A craft brew perhaps? Yes, because who doesn't like bacon flavored beer? This is a search you just have to sit down and try for yourself. After you try enough in one sitting, it's not going to really matter which is which.
Television Shows
Thursday night. It's been a long day at work. You need a laugh. You have every single show at your fingertips. What do you watch though? Use a bracket to choose between hardcore drama or a classic situational comedy. "Breaking Bad" or "The Dick Van Dyke Show"? The choice is yours, but sometimes that can be difficult. Use a bracket!
Apples and Oranges
If you can't think of anything else to use a bracket for, apples and oranges work just fine. You could use any kind of fruits too! Grapefruits and pears. Clementines and well, I guess just another type of fruit.
Need to settle a dispute? Maybe you have a matchup you need to figure out. What ever you need, a bracket has your back.
