Congratulations, you're in the club. The, "I have really, really, really long hair" club. This is not the club for the girls whose hair falls only midway down their backs. This is for the girls who have hair that goes way past their bellybuttons.
Most people probably envy you. You get a lot of, "Wow your hair is, like, so long and pretty!" and many people have asked for your haircare secrets. Truthfully, it's fun to have long hair. You like the way it looks, how it feels, and that your sorority sisters love to braid it without you asking during chapter meetings. But, what people don't know is how truthfully annoying all of this long hair is. For the people who think it's all good hair days and low maintenance, you are so wrong.
1. You could actually knit a sweater with all the hair that you shed during a normal shampoo.
2. Taking a shower in another person's house gives you anxiety-- how do you politely tell them you'll clog the drain?
3. Being able to use Draino should be on your resume.
4. And if you've ever had to share a bathroom with a family member, it has caused serious tension in your relationship.
5. It takes approximately an entire day for your hair to fully dry.
6. And if it's humid, you can expect it to take double.
7. You've actually buttoned your pants and had your hair get trapped underneath your waistband.
8. Open back dresses? Doesn't matter, your hair will cover it anyway.
9. But you rock a ponytail like it's nobody's business.
10. Said ponytail could be classified as a weapon, especially when you flip it and it attacks your eye.
11. This is an apology to anyone who has ever sat behind you in class and has had to deal with your hair covering their laptop.
12. You never met a leave-in conditioner you didn't like.
13. You spend a substantial sum of money on conditioner every month.
14. When you're really sweaty and your ponytail wraps around your armpit mid-workout, it makes you all kinds of uncomfortable.
15. Hair has gotten caught in your underwear...
16. You could go days without washing your hair; you have a lot hair that can hold a lot of grease.
17. The people in the mall who sell flat irons love you. They cat call you like there's no tomorrow.
18. You're so sick of the question, "ohmigosh how long did it take to get your hair that long?"
19. "Can I touch it?"
20. "When's the last time you got a haircut?"
21. Truthfully, the only way to keep your hair long is to stop straightening it. #Protip @ all of the girls who have ever asked.
22. No pillow? No problem, you can gather your hair to form a substantial headrest.
23. Torture is trying to cuddle with your hair down. You've been choked on at least one occasion.
24. And before you even think about making out with someone, you better have a hair-tie handy.
25. All of the boys you've ever kissed, ever, have complained about getting hair in their mouth.
26. Hands down, one of your biggest fears is cooking for someone and having them find your hair in it.
27. You've gotten your hair stuck in the car door.
28. And while closing your sunroof.
29. Fun idea for a new Olympic sport: blowdrying your hair.
30. Most of your arm muscle comes from having to spend thirty-plus minutes holding a curling iron.
31. You've dedicated literally hours to the task of styling it.
32. You laugh at girls who have hair extensions.
33. All your hair has actually kept you warm during the winter. #Blessed
34. You dread the day when you'll have to enter the "real world" and cut it to look more professional.
35. Because your hair is your security blanket.
36. Lip gloss + wind + your hair = Satan
37. You've tried backpacks and tote bags, but your hair has gotten painfully caught in both.
38. Zipping your hair into your jacket is equally painful.
39. And you know those little screws on the back of desk chairs? Ow, ow, ow.
40. You like big (messy) buns and you cannot lie.
41. Getting your hair caught in your bra strap is the worst.
42. Every time you get a trim, you end up bawling your eyes out.
43. You may complain about your hair getting annoying, but you know you would never ever get a hair cut.
