Summer is coming to an end, and that means work and school are starting up again at full-force. Because I'm a senior in college, now, that means that the "a-word" is thrown around in conversation frequently.
When are you going to behave like an adult? You need to start preparing for your adult life after college. How are you even an adult if you can't cook without setting off the fire alarm?
Well, I'm here to give people who may not be adjusting to their "adult" or "almost-adult" lives some guidance. It's okay; you can trust me. I'm an adult myself.
1. Pretend you're a seasoned adult veteran.
This is the first step into acceptance. You're not going to feel like an adult, and that's okay. You're going to feel like you got lost on your way to preschool and stumbled into the liquor aisle or the home goods section, but trial and error is a part of life. As long as you look confident, people will believe that you can handle being an adult. Keep in mind, though, that the internet is your best friend. I can't tell you how many times I've looked up what materials are microwavable.
2. Learn to speak in a professional voice.
As an adult, you will need to address serious issues like doctor visits and bank account information. To excel in these conversations, swearing is forbidden, stammering makes people believe you are unprepared or unorganized, and fake accents are discouraged (much to my disdain). Find your inner business voice and own it. Let the doctors know your bowel movements haven't been treating you well since you switched to the broke diet of McDonalds and Ramen.
3. Only procrastinate on the less important things.
Like housework or personal hygiene. To be an official adult, you must change your priorities. No more can cleaning be an excuse for not finishing that one work assignment you had to take home with you. Also, paying that gym membership with your own money might motivate you to actually go. Maybe.
4. Never stop using your parents' Netflix account.
Even adults need life-pauses. That means setting time aside to reset your brain by watching mindless television. Books are obviously good as well, but sometimes, thinking is out of the question. Once you realize how much water and electricity you really use from that monthly bill from the devil himself. A/C and long showers add up, but Netflix is unlimited - as long as you don't get caught mooching from your wonderful parents. It's the least they can do for letting us grow up and enter adulthood.
