4 Times Yellow Fever Was Too Real

4 Times Yellow Fever Was Too Real

No, not the actual disease -- a condition that causes men to be so blinded by a fantasy that they generalize an entire race

These stories are all true. I've taken the liberty of randomly assigning names to these anonymous men to acknowledge their identities and not generalize their whole race, which is more than they did for me.

1. Jared, the one I apparently had nothing in common with.

I was on a casual outing with a friend, and her date had brought a friend, we're calling him Jared, just by coincidence. It turned into an unintentional double date. I'm always up for meeting new people, so in between ordering food and waiting for its arrival, I made conversation with Jared. I began with questions about his academics and his hobbies, interjecting here and there with my own anecdotes. Not once did he comment or build upon my stories. At first chance, he asked the dreaded question, "Just curious, but where are you from?" By the hesitance and tone of his voice, he might have well just asked, "What type of Asian are you?" It would have been more straightforward.

After some back and forth, I gave him the answer he was looking for: "I'm Chinese, although I was born and raised in America." I swear that his eyes actually lit up. Finally, something he could bond with me over! He immediately began talking a bit too fast about college soccer, and how there was this one Chinese guy on his team he became friends with for a period of time and learned some phrases in Mandarin. After his anti-climatic and drawn out story, he looked at me with the same eyes puppies have when they're waiting for their reward treat after a trick. Basically, I spent the rest of the night attempting to join my friend's conversation and eating my veggie quesadilla in silence.

2. Dan, the one who loves Oriental women.

We were on the dance floor. I dancing with my friend, each of us sporadically leaving to dance with interested randoms but always coming back to each other. Dan approached me, actually introduced himself and asked to dance. This is as chivalrous as it gets at a club, so I gave him a chance. He had a great smile, not so bad dance moves and didn't exude any creep vibes. Then he leaned in and said over the house music, "I love Oriental women! Are you looking for a boyfriend?" Not in the mood to start anything and startled, I laughed and said no. Then he offered to take me on a weekend vacation to another country, and be my "temporary boyfriend" all while emphasizing his love for "my people." I'm not really sure what he expected when I stopped dancing abruptly, with probably a mixture of disgust and annoyance in my face. The encounter ended with the classic, "Take it as a compliment!" from him. Bye, Dan.

3. Byron, the one who had his breath taken away.

It's no news that women get cat called. Well, Asian women get ni hao-ed by men who genuinely think they are trying to connect with us by greeting us in the language they think we all speak. What -- you don't speak Asian? The scary thing is that it's almost an involuntary knee-jerk reaction to some men and they often really think they have good intentions.

One day, I was walking to the grocery store. I was walking towards a group of men, where Byron was, on the sidewalk. They were just chatting by a parking meter, really into whatever they were talking about. As I was walking past, Byron -- who had been really animatedly speaking, hands and all -- met my eyes and forgot how to function. I never believed in the "you take my breath away" phrase until that moment. His mouth went slack mid-sentence, and I heard him say as if on automatic, "What a beautiful China." Before he could recover and attempt communication with me -- I mean, the China -- I walked very quickly away.

4. Ethan, the one about to work in Hong Kong.

I went to this bar with a group of girls, just to have a nice night out, dance a little. I should clearly stop trying to do this. I'm not one to flirt a lot with people, it takes too much energy and I'm, honestly, just bad at it. I prefer conversations, so I was pleasantly surprised when Ethan actually began one with me without starting with a cheesy pickup line. We talked about our friends, school, and because I was studying abroad at the time, traveling.

Now, let me remind you, we've been speaking in perfect English this entire time. It was going well. He asked, "What part of Asia are you from?" I shook my head, thinking he didn't hear me, and shouted back over the music, "Not Asia, I'm from America." Then, he asked me if I was from a specific Asian country, to which I repeated, "No I'm not from there, I'm from the States."

At this point, I was becoming mildly annoyed. It was clear I wasn't fitting into the mold he had already put me in. He shrugged and asked, "Well, you're Chinese, right? I'm actually about to go work at (big name company) over in Hong Kong in a month. The women in your culture are so beautiful!" Although he assumed correctly, I had stopped talking at that point, and let him continue to ask me about Hong Kong and the next time I was going to visit my family and home country. Although I have visited Hong Kong, I had never mentioned any of this, or my ethnicity to him. Noticing my silence, he asked me what was wrong. At that point, I replied, "I'm not Chinese, and I've never heard of this Hong Kong place." Well, I might have stretched the truth a bit, but I'd do it again just to see that bewildered look on his face one more time.

These are only a few mild examples of countless interactions that I have much too often, as a Chinese woman. And while I'm not one to bite my tongue and go with the flow, it's exhausting and doesn't seem to be worth my breath most of the time. But as harmless as these conversations or statements may seem, they are the products of a deeper underlying fantasy of Asian women being no more than their demure, submissive caricature. What's even worse is that men often deflect their obvious "yellow fever" with insisting that they just have a type, or appreciate my culture. I'm sorry, but if the only thing you can talk about when you open your mouth is where I'm from, how often you get bubble tea in Chinatown, and not who I actually am, you're a part of the problem.

Cover Image Credit: Teen

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35 Major Life Facts According To Nick Miller

"All booze is good booze, unless it's weak booze."

Fact: If you watch "New Girl," you love Nick Miller.

You can't help it. He's an adorable, lovable mess of a man and you look forward to seeing him and his shenanigans each week. While living the infamous and incomparable life of Nick Miller, and obviously Julius Pepperwood— he has learned many valuable laws of the land. And, although Nick refuses to learn anything from anyone besides his mysterious, old Asian friend Tran, he does have a few lessons he'd like to teach us.

Here are 35 facts of life according to 'Nick Milla Nick Milla':

1. Drinking keeps you healthy.

"I'm not gonna get sick. No germ can live in a body that is 65% beer."

2. Dinosaurs never existed.

"I don't believe dinosaurs existed. I've seen the science. I don't believe it."

3. A paper bag is a bank.

"A bank is just a paper bag but with fancier walls."

4. Having sex is similar to delivering mail.

"I'm like a mailman, except instead of mail it's hot sex that I deliver."

5. Moonwalking is a foolproof way to get out of any awkward situation.

Jess (about Nick): "Now he won't even talk to me. I saw him this morning and he just panic moonwalked away from me. He does that sometimes."

6. Using a movie reference is also a great way.

Cece: "Come on, get up!"

Nick: "No, I don't dance. I'm from that town in "Footloose."

7. There's no reason to wash towels.

Nick: "I don’t wash the towel. The towel washes me. Who washes a towel?"

Schmidt: "You never wash your towel?"

Nick: "What am I gonna do? Wash the shower next? Wash a bar of soap?"

8. Exes are meant to be avoided at all costs (especially if/unless they're Caroline)

"I don't deal with exes, they're part of the past. You burn them swiftly and you give their ashes to Poseidon."

9. IKEA furniture is not as intimidating as it looks.

"I'm building you the dresser. I love this stuff. It's like high-stakes LEGOs."

10. You don't need forks if you have hands.

Jess: "That's gross. Get a fork, man."

Nick: "I got two perfectly good forks at the end of my arms!"

11. Sex has a very specific definition.

"It's not sex until you put the straw in the coconut."

12. Doors are frustrating.

"I will push if I want to push! Come on! I hate doors!"

13. All booze is good booze.

"Can I get an alcohol?"

14. ...unless it's weak booze.

"Schmidt, that is melon flavored liquor! That is 4-proof! That is safe to drink while you're pregnant!"

15. Writers are like pregnant women.

Jess: "You know what that sound is? It's the sound of an empty uterus."

Nick: "I can top that easily. I'm having a hard time with my zombie novel."

Jess: "Are you really comparing a zombie novel to my ability to create life?"

Nick: "I'm a writer, Jess. We create life."

16. All bets must be honored.

"There is something serious I have to tell you about the future. The name of my first-born child needs to be Reginald VelJohnson. I lost a bet to Schmidt."

17. Adele's voice is like a combination of Fergie and Jesus.

"Adele is amazing."

18. Beyoncé is extremely trustworthy.

"I'd trust Beyoncé with my life. We be all night."

19. Fish, on the other hand, are not.

“Absolutely not. You know I don’t trust fish! They breathe water. That's crazy!"

20. Bar mitzvahs are terrifying.

Schmidt: "It's a bar mitzvah!"

Nick: "I am NOT watching a kid get circumcised!"

21. ...so are blueberries.

Jess: "So far, Nick Miller's list of fears is sharks, tap water, real relationships..."

Nick: "And blueberries."

22. Take your time with difficult decisions. Don't be rash.

Jess: "You care about your burritos more than my children, Nick?"

Nick: "You're putting me in a tough spot!"

23. Getting into shape is not easy.

"I mean, I’m not doing squats or anything. I’m trying to eat less donuts."

24. We aren't meant to talk about our feelings.

"If we needed to talk about feelings, they would be called talkings."

25. We're all a little bit too hard on ourselves.

"The enemy is the inner me."

26. Freezing your underwear is a good way to cool off.

"Trust me, I'm wearing frozen underpants right now and I feel amazing. I'm gonna grab some old underpants and put a pair into the freezer for each of you."

27. Public nudity is normal.

"Everbody has been flashed countless times."

28. Alcohol is a cure-all.

"You treat an outside wound with rubbing alcohol. You treat an inside wound with drinking alcohol."

29. Horses are aliens.

"I believe horses are from outer-space."

30. Turtles should actually be called 'shell-beavers.'

Jess: "He calls turtles 'shell-beavers."

Nick: "Well, that's what they should be called."

31. Trench coats are hot.

"This coat has clean lines and pockets that don't quit, and it has room for your hips. And, when I wear it, I feel hot to trot!"

32. Sparkles are too.

"Now, my final bit of advice, and don't get sensitive on this, but you've got to change that top it's terrible and you've got to throw sparkles on. Sparkles are in. SPARKLES ARE IN."

33. Introspection can lead to a deeper knowing of oneself.

"I'm not convinced I know how to read. I've just memorized a lot of words."

34. It's important to live in the moment.

"I know this isn't gonna end well but the middle part is gonna be awesome."

35. Drinking makes you cooler.

Jess: "Drinking to be cool, Nick? That's not a real thing."

Nick: "That's the only thing in the world I know to be true."

Cover Image Credit: Hollywood Reporter

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The Zodiac Signs As Bath And Body Works Scents

Just in case you want to know what scent you are!

Bath and Body Works fans could be considered to be part of a cult. The scents draw you in as if calling your name, if you ever
wondered what your scent should be based on your zodiac sign, here it is!

Aries: Country Apple

The rather impulsive Aries takes their time picking and choosing the scents from Bath and Body Works. The soothing scent of a fresh apple orchard is just what they need on a daily basis to keep up with their shenanigans.

Taurus: Japanese Cherry Blossom

The personality of a Taurus is stubborn, or what I like to say, is stuck in their ways. When they first discovered this scent in middle school, this was it. This is the only scent you will find anywhere around a Taurus.

Libra: Pink Chiffon

Pink Chiffon is another cult classic. This best selling scent went out of style for a hot second but is back and bigger than ever.

Leo: Thousand Wishes

Thousand Wishes is a purr-fect scent for a Leo. The light scent adornes the wearer just the right amount to get the desired reaction from those around them.

Aquarius: Be Enchanted

The rather cold personality of an Aquarius is counteracted by the loving scent of Be Enchanted. The scent is just enough tenderness for the wearer to be relaxed.

Gemini: Moonlight Path

Gemini's constantly change their favorite scent and are in and out of the store almost weekly to by new lotions, candles, and body washes. You will never see a full empty bottle of anything, however, Moonlight Path is the scent they keep coming back to again and again.

Virgo: Sea Island Cotton

The clean personality of a Virgo must be matched with the clean scent of Sea Island Cotton.

Capricorn: Cucumber Melon

Another clean scent of Cucumber Melon is the exact thing a Capricorn needs. The balance and calming scents are what make this scent so attractive to a Capricorn.

Scorpio: Paris Amour

The light scent is what you would expect from an extreme sign like a Scorpio. The scent lightly washes over the wearer in almost a cloud that

Sagittarius: Cashmere Glow

Cashmere Glow is a perfect scent for the winter sign. The vanilla and golden peach scent is just the mixture that creates the perfect accessory in the chilly months.

Pisces: Warm Vanilla Sugar

This lovely scent accentuates the lovely personality of a Pisces. They can never get enough of this scent so they just keep buying and buying until they have a full stockpile.

Cancer: Velvet Sugar

Velvet Sugar is the perfect blend of red velvet and strawberries and a Cancer is always changing their mind. The wearer can tell if it is a more red velvet or strawberry kind of day, and that is the balance that they need in their lives.

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