As a girl who is fiercely independent and surrounds herself with women who are also self-reliant, I have watched this wonderful trait cause many relationships to be short lived, so here are just a few things to keep in mind.
1. She Will Never Need You
Most independent women have become that way due to some sort of life experience. Perhaps it happened at an early age, perhaps only recently. Maybe it has to do with a previous boyfriend, but maybe it has to do with her family. Despite such differences, most independent females are the way that they are because they had to be. Due to whatever experience she encountered, this girl will always depend wholeheartedly on herself first because that is the only person she had at one point. She may embrace her independence and power. The fact that she is an entire being on her own and no one can take that from her may be something she is extremely proud of. If so, good for her! But many men feel threatened by such a notion because they are used to being needed and chased after. The independent girl will not always necessarily turn to you whenever she is facing a problem, she may want to be alone after a bad day, and she might not let you provide for her either, whether that means financially or otherwise. This is frustrating for many men, because it feels as if she is pushing you away or belittling your role as her significant other. If you truly wish to pursue this independent woman, keep this in mind and do not be so insecure that it bothers you. Embrace it. This woman will be much less likely to be a “crazy girlfriend.” Plus, she may not need you, but she does want you, and I personally think that means a lot more.
2. It Will Be Difficult To Get Her To Commit
This does not necessarily mean she will be sneaking around and forming relationships with multiple partners at once, but it does mean that she may be hesitant to call herself your girlfriend, or even claim that you are more than just a friend. Frankly, commitment probably scares her. She’s very used to depending solely on herself for happiness, confidence, and support, so the idea of becoming vulnerable to someone in such ways is terrifying. The idea that she might eventually commit to someone other than herself and be left in the dust is probably always in the back of her mind. Maybe it has happened to her previously, or maybe she just never wants it to. Either way, she knows she does just fine on her own, and she’s probably afraid to jeopardize that. She may handle this slight fear in a number of ways. She may begin to see you less, she may show less affection, she may disappear off the face of the earth for awhile, or there could be a thousand other similar reactions that have to do with her lack of need for a significant other. More likely than not, this is a sort of phase as she feels out what it is like to have a man in her life again. She will eventually come around if you’re willing to accept it.
3. She Will Never Settle For Less Than She Is Worth
Many girls fear the stereotype of “crazy girlfriend”, and for good reason. A girl who is fiercely independent has the ability to recognize whenever she is being irrational and step back. “Independent girls” are able to give men space, time, and even let them go much easier than those who are insecure and dependent because, as I previously stated, they don’t need a man. That being said, that doesn’t mean this girl will be totally calm all the time. If you do something that hurts her, she will speak up about it. This is not a bad thing, it simply means she cares and would rather work through the issue than let it remain inside, only to let all the pent-up anger explode during a bigger argument.
4. She Is Never Going To Beg For Your Attention
Sure, she’ll put in her fair share of the effort and make her feelings for you known, but she will also back off if she is getting the wrong vibe. She may double text you or ask you to hang out every once in awhile, but remember that this girl is used to being completely on her own. She doesn't necessarily know how to make the first move because she hasn't been in such a position in awhile. So, if she doesn’t seem totally head over heels for you, don’t be so quick to bail. Chances are she’s just getting a feel for if you’ll treat her like the amazing woman she is before she puts her all into it. She’s not going to settle, so she’s not likely to be one to rush into anything.
Overall, be patient. Be willing to put in a little bit of extra effort to break down her walls, be willing to communicate, and be willing to be independent as well. Independent women have the ability to create healthy, meaningful, and long-lasting relationships, you just have to give them the extra time it takes for them to let their self-reliance take a bit of a step back.
