Recently, my grandparents celebrated their 50th anniversary of marriage. Watching them love each other as I grew up always gave me a picture of what I want my marriage to look like one day. My parents got divorced before I was old enough to remember it, and the rest of my family didn't exactly give me a perfect picture of what marriage should be. Everyone makes their mistakes though, and growing up as a child of divorced parents taught me a lot of lessons about what I want in a marriage. When I get married, I want to do it right like my mimi and grandad did.
As my Mimi nears the end of her life, I've been constantly reminded of the little things that are truly the most important things in a relationship. When you marry someone, you vow to love them through everything -- good times and bad, in sickness and in health. Watching my grandad take care of my mimi the way he has recently has been one of the most inspiring parts of this difficult time. There are many elements that make up a good marriage; here are a few that I've learned from my grandparents' relationship over the years.
1. Loyalty
Fifty years is a long time. To stick by someone's side through literally everything they go through for 50 whole years is not only difficult, but it's one of the most inspiring things I've seen. Relationships are nothing without loyalty, and over the years I have seen my grandparents love each other through everything. It's clear that they've always put each other first and avoided betrayal. Seeing their loyalty to each other has made it clear to me that it's one of the most important things in a relationship.
2. Care
If you love someone, you'll love them at their very worst; you'll love them when they're sick and completely dependable on you. My mimi has diabetes for years and recently has had colon cancer, and watching my grandad care for her daily and stay by her side day in and day out has given me a picture of what it means to truly care for someone. He puts her first and if she has the need, he's always the first to respond just because he cares.
3. Patience
Inevitably, things go wrong in relationships and life. People make mistakes, and unexpected things go wrong. Arguing and fighting is just part of it. Sometimes my grandparents would bicker and I'd just laugh, because I knew in the grand scheme of things, none of that would matter. At the end of the day, they were always patient with each other or they wouldn't have made it this long. Having patience for someone is an essential factor in a relationship.
4. Unrequited love
I believe that the one force in the world that overpowers everything is love. When you are truly in love with someone, you'll love them through everything. My grandparents married each other when they were my age, and to me that's scary. But seeing the way they have constantly loved each other over the years, no matter what, has shown me that a beautiful marriage is possible. There's a lot that goes into a relationship, but the relationship would never exist in the first place if it weren't for love.
My mimi getting sick has been very difficult for our family, but it has also brought us closer and helped us see the things that truly matter. Reminiscing made me realize how much I've learned from my grandparents' relationship, and how I want my relationship to be like theirs one day. They're my lifelong relationship goals. So Mimi and Grandad, this one's for you. Thank you for giving me an example to follow and showing me a beautiful picture of what marriage should be.
