Here are a few warning signs to look for in your boyfriend so that you don't waste your time and effort on a guy who is unworthy of it.
He isn't independent.
It seems as if a lot of millennial women are proud to call themselves independent women, but there are less men that can say the same thing for themselves. The word "independent" has a lot of different definitions, and means different things for different people. However, if you're dating a supposedly grown "man" who lets his mom do his laundry and lacks any sort of adult responsibilities…it's time to let him go.
He can't comfortably talk about his ex(es).
Nobody likes to talk about their exes with their current significant other. It can be awkward and embarrassing, but I think it's worth covering the basics whenever appropriate. It helps to eliminate any questions and concerns. If a guy won't talk about it at all, it might've been a painful breakup, which is fair. Conversely, it could be a sign that he did something pretty egregious that he's hiding from you. The bottom line is, if he's hesitant to clear the air about a previous relationship, he's probably not being 100% honest with you. On the other hand of this, it's obviously a red flag if he talks about his ex too much. Whether he loves her or hate her, those are two intense feelings that you shouldn't want your boyfriend having for their ex. The former option is an obvious conflict, but how a person speaks about their ex does reveal a lot about their character. You wouldn't want him badmouthing you if you guys were to break up.
He's not moving toward a future.
As young adults, it's normal for us to be unsure of exactly what to do with our lives or what the future may hold. It's okay to have doubts and uncertainties, as long as you're moving towards finding what suits you. This means making decent enough grades, getting an internship or job, being involved in extracurriculars, or even maybe shadowing a professional. If he's not taking the opportunity in college to seek out personal and professional development, he's wasting his time (and yours).
He's not upfront.
If you find yourself saying to him "why didn't you tell me sooner?" and "I just wish I would've known," show the boy the door. Maybe he doesn't necessarily lie to you, but omitting the truth is a form of dishonesty. If he's doing this was the little things, he's absolutely doing it with larger secrets
I am far from a relationship guru, but these are just a few of the problematic behaviors that I've seen in my own experiences as well as my friends. To sum it up, you shouldn't date someone who is irresponsible, has unfinished emotional baggage with an ex, isn't progressing in life, or appears to be only slightly dishonest.
